Judge — June 7, 1919 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by Canvent Sarna TREASURE ‘Trove ooze is buried twelve feet, due north of the sun Dictated But Not Read By Warren Wooprurt Y wife likes books. If you will look at the withdrawal and return dates on my li- brary card, she is casily the champion reader of the world. We have two cards at the Public Library. One is my wife's and the other is mine. There is no doubt that we are well-read people. In fact, you might readily infer from our library cards that we are practically read to death. My wife does all the getti and all the taking back. I never have time to visit the Library, and with the exception of the day I applied for my card and filled in the application blank, | have never been inside of the big marble building. My wife visits the Library constantly. She knows librarian, the librarian’s assistants, the book mark- . the information clerks and the person in charge ot atalogue; and | have no doubt she is on speaking terms with the worms that hide away on the shelves. Still, my wife does not visit the Library every day. She t go on Sundays nor holidays, because the Li- brary is not open on those da There are no particular authors who hold my wife's s the fairest. and most impartial One day she will bring tes. attention. In fact, she book-getter [ have ever known. home a double armful of something or other about the days of the Renaissance, and the next day she will favor me with seven or cight outbursts on the reason a young girl leaves home. On another day our table will be covered with books of reference, and if I leave the house for an hour to get a cigar, I am apt to return to find them replaced by works of Kipling or of Life in the Trenches. The books my wife gets at the Library are all for me. She is the most thoughtful person in the world. I am Lewis so busy at the ofi ce all day that when I return home at night my mind is in need of rest and relaxatic I am regaled with delightful moments from Spinoza, or the life of Henry Clay. My wife seldom reads her- self. Iixcept for the few mon ents before | leave the house in the morning and my hours at home in the evening, I have never seen her reading a book. Books which are marked “two weeks book” and “one week book—not renewable” mean nothing to us, All our books go back the same day, or at the latest, the day after. We are the best customers the Library has ever known. During ny married life | have read the titles of more books than other person in the world has ever seen, but I never have time to finish one I have started more books than any other living man, but I never get past the tenth page. ‘The only way for me to read a book from cover to cover is to read the title and then turn to the last page and read the word *finis.”” In our Library one may draw six books at one time on one card, so our two cards are as good as a “deck My wife never comes home without a full house and a flush. ‘“Sce the nice books I have brought you,” she ; ug a flock of best sellers over the table. “You did not read that Thesis on Bird Culture that I brought you last night, so I took it back this mornin Here is a nice Western story with one of those villains you like to read about.” So | thank her and pick up the trail of the cowboy villain somewhere near the place where I lost track of the Mexican bandit in one of yesterday's books. Occasionally I become really interested in a nice ] will get as far as page thirteen, iged to lay it aside for 1, SO red-covered novel third paragraph, and then be ob! comicbooks.com