Judge — June 7, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

t osity of the war period as put new pep into the works of the French sculptors and — A. Digeo€ of the Worlds Haino HELP Looked So—Mr. Flatbush—Who was that calling on the cook so late last night? Mrs, Flatbush—Oh, that was our milk- man “And who was that calling on her so early this morning?” “Oh, that was the night watchman.” “Well, dear, don’t you think she’s got her dates mixed?"’—Yonkers Statesman. A Little Formality—" Well, if you've had 10 years’ experience taking care of children, I think you'll do.” “T'l just take a look at the children and see if they'll do.”—Browning Mag- az An Essential Detail—KAnicker—Well, my dear? Mrs. Knicker—Can the League for Peace keep your neighbor from offering your cook a dollar a month more?—New York Sun. Memory System—In the counting- house of a city office, usually closed at six o'clock, the office boy had been known, like others of that fraternity, to occasionally forget to do those things which he ought to have done, and the manager had at last to impress upon him the advisability of making a note of anything important on a memorandum form and keeping it in a conspicuous place as a reminder. The other day a piecesof paper was noticed pinned to the wall in front of the lad’s desk, and, upon examination, it was found to bear the following: Memorandum. Leave at six.”—Lon- don Tit-Bit office boy) I rang once Blunderer!—Boss (to Here! I don’t want you twice. Boy once Oh! I thought you rang twice Boston Transcript. Screen School —!/rs. Smythe—What a jewel of a butler you have! He must have had many years’ experience. Mrs. Browne—No; 1 learned just re- cently that all he knows he learned from the movie butlers.—Film Fin. Score One!—A Philadelphia woman did not approve of the dress of her cook. One day, as the latter, in a particularly stylish frock, showed up after a day off, the mistress said: “Why, Mary, what elegance! It would be hard to distinguish the lady from the cook.” “Don’t worry, mum,” “The cooking would tell.’ and Express. said Mary. Toronto Mail Maid of All Nerve “ And have ye good reference yer former help?"”—Le Rir- (Pari THE OLD | SOD Regretting at Leisure—Mrs. Houli han—Phwat a fool Oi ! Oi never saw yez till the day before me unforchnit mar- riage Houlihan—Faith, Oi wish ye hadn’t seen me till the day after.—Ke Cily Journal. On the Safe Side—Although Tim and Pat were known to be great friends, it was remarked that one moming they passed cach other on the street without speaking. “Why, Tim,” queried a friend in as- tonishment, “have you and Pat quar- reled?” “Faith, we have not,” replied Tim, earnestly. “There seemed to be a coolness be- tween you when you passed this morn- ing.” “Well,” explained Tim, way we're going to hold our friendship.” “I don’t understand.” “Ye don’t? Well, thin, it’s this way. Pat an’ me are that devoted to wan other that we can’t bear the thought av a quarrel, an’ as we're Loth moighty hot tempered, we've resolved not to sneak to wan another at all, for fear 6. breakin’ ip." —Harper's Ma,azine. hat's the our friendst Loyal to the Last—"So Casey was runnin’ me down an’ ye stood up for me?” “Oi did. Oi sez to him, ‘Casey,’ siz Oi, ‘ye’re honest an’ truthful an’ ye’re no coward, an’ ye work hard an’ pay yer dibts, don’t get drunk an’ lick yer woife, but in other respects ye're no better than Dolan!’ "—Journal of the American Medical Association.