Judge — May 31, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Broadway ts who ask no greater happi- ness in life than to give the public what it wants, are still in proc- ess of recovering from the hock caused by the success of “The Jest,” a high-brow d ature is more allt ecomes edly they will asus whinny horse was dead! obiles feel that their fla my heart! My k lent as the shimmy. 4 bined. Meanw! earning h undulatresses. Any verse mounted by Belasco would cer- nly, for realism’s sake, have French heels and practicable ta toe ‘or the benefit of play- makers who desire to keep | abreast of the times, but who, in view of the high price of purple zebra shirts have but a limited amount of money to invest in H poetry manufacturing 4 equipment, Ihave invented a handy machine called the Fivaliner, which puts a pentameter finish on any alog you run through it. This machine combines the principles of the clothes freezer, squeezing the of their f them to jell in proj na in blank verse. ing than limbs or ev f Times De- st f the revered traditions have to be reva at the box-o fic load of greenbacks—and people had thought the old akes the owners of 1919 model hy vehic zs of On all sides are heard mutter zdom for a horse like that!” Next season we may expect to find poetry as preva- No doubt the two will be com- makers will have a busy time to make verse feet aps in the emergency proso tories of Morris Gest or Flo Ziegfeld there may be evolved a meter that goes like the willowy strut ‘of choral » labora- wringer and the ice-cream ords out ‘ose order and setting er pairs of syllables, so that they come beautiful and cold and blank. Its only mechanical shortcoming i Stalking on Five Feet By Lawtox Macwaut American dran n lingerie, what with a gladsome transfor it was as Messrs. need overhaul- Pegasus of season: w thee > in step. Photo by Macnice Gotonrac in this j Thou knowst it is not la To wink eye at the re All men wink eye at me that, being permane for five-foot gauge, it makes no distinction between dialog and stage directions, blanking them impartially. But after all, why not? Didn’t Rostand put the stage set of each act of “Chantecler” in sonnet If liter- form? Some day, after my machine has transformed any p business in prose will be cons aywright who carries on his red a piker. To demonstrate how the Fivaliner works, let me show you what it will do to a scene from “ Kast Is West,” ing it, in a few twists of the crank, from what Shipman and Hymer wrote it last year to what it would be if they hadewritten it next Porter: very window s the way at Kelly’s. Mine Tov: y wink eye Porter Don’t dylike for thee as they go by Toy M NC I wink eye b Porter Toy, thou art a bad, a bad, bad girl! Mi: Mixc Toy Oh wouldst instruct me how to shake a shimmy! Porter: Not that! Mux Then is to dance Portes ‘Toy wrong Mic Toy Then pray teach me how t shake a shimmy, And every day I p thee to God for Portes ‘obe't. Shake then both sh —ay, ’tis well And now essay to hop just like a chicken. (Cheerfully—Ming Toy foll his business) Mixe Toy Like chicken hop—oh, yes! Porter ng Now try ag (Potter dancing with her) Shake thy s\ This invaluable machine is offered on the facile sales plan of five dollars down and hands up. comicbooks.com