Judge — May 31, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mose Teuton Demands German Representatives Foch—Dere ain't goin’ to HIGH-BROWS Her Absences—“Does your wife go in for this uplift stuff?” “Alas, no—she goes out for it—attends a meeting somewhere about every day in the week.”—Florida Times-Union Her View—"The professor seems to be a man of rare gifts,” remarked Mrs. Naybor. “He is,” agreed the professor's wife. “He hasn't given me one since we were married.” —Philadel phia Ledger. A Cold Rival—"I dare say being the wife of a distinguished savant has its drawbacks.” “Why so?” asked Mrs. Diggs. “Your husband is apt to be in love with his work, you know.” “Professor Diggs specializes in Egyp- tology, and I don’t mind him having the mummy of an Egyptian princess for his affinity. The chances are she’s been dead at least a thousand years.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Mother's Ologies— Daugliter— Yes; I've graduated, but now I must inform myself in psychology, philology, bibli— Practical Mother—Stop! I have ar- ranged for you a thorough course in roastology, bakcology, stitchology, darn- ology, patchology and general domestic hustleology.—Christian Advocate. Pleasures of Science—“I recently heard two scientists wrangling over the f the earth.” “T envy those fellows.” “Why?” “Imagine anybody sufficiently de- tached n the problems of the day to wrangle over an unimportant question like the age of the earth when nearly everybody else is sitting up late at night trying to find out what's the matter with it!"—Birmingham Age-Ierald. The Curiously-Wrought Mug oF royais que tw aurais [air aute si tua 4a were the one who told me to shave eard “That was because I thought it would make you look like an American. But is it my fault that you look like a coachman?” —Le Monde Illustré (Paris) ram PEO P Garden—There is always a good Gar den story going about when the famous singer is in town. This time it is of an orchestra rehearsal; a time during which even the mildest whisper is taboo. Usu- ally, no one holds to this rule m fully than Miss den, but circum stances were too much for her last week when the stage hands, while Miss Gar den was standing waiting for her cue were vainly moving a moon back and forth on the drop, trying to find a place where it would hold fast. Finally the most practic... of prima donnas could tol erate matters no longer, rule or no rule. In her clear, penetrating voice she called out suddenly; “Pin it up, you fool; pin it up!" —Musical America. LE care Big Talk—Orville Wright, at a din ner in Dayton, talked of his early struggles. “We had, my brother and I,” he said “lots of oral encouragement. People talked big, but they would put up nothing. With their mouths full of millions and their quite empty hands, they reminded me of a barber I once knew “This barber said one day as he shaved me: hat’s a fine pup of Wilberforce’s. I'd give anything for it.’ “Well, it’s for sale, isn’t it?’ said L “The barber burst into harsh, sneering laughter. “-Oh, yes, it’s for sale,’ said he, ‘but Wilberforce, the chump, wants $1.50 for it.’ "—Baltimore American. A Wonderful World—* Don’t talk to me about the wonders of past ages,” said Uncle Joe Cannon. “The world today is far more wonderful than ever before. Just think. It took Columbus as many months as it now takes days to cross the ocean and we talk about Cying and travel ing a mile a minute as though they were nothing. “Why, the other day I dropped into a country school just in time to hear the teacher ask: * “* Johnny, into what two great classes is the human race divided?’ And Johnny answered promptly ‘Motorists and pedestrians.’ “That’s what I call progress. After awhile there won't be any pedestrians.’ —Los Angeles Times comicbooks.com