Judge — May 3, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EDITOR eG at Pre Revees P. Sreicuen, Secretary Edi J. A. Warpros, Joun A. Sreicuer, Peeerros Maxwett, iforials Grant E. Hasatrox, Art Director Lawrox Macxatt, Managing Editor ALE. Routaver, Treasurer Literary Editor You a VERMONT OR AN Onto? “1 met a Vermont Yankee lately, and the main thing he bra about was the amount of maple s ped from his town eve ut he did say that Vermont rolled out fat would be ss Howe's Mont HERE ARE od 8 is a real and clamorous demand, among people who use their heads, for some kind of a super-steam-roller that will level down the crude, false heights which certain public men and exploited things have re cently attained. There are human excrescences on the body politic which should be pared off; there are men in exalted positions whose “gifts” are as flat as the proverbial pancake; there are bombastic fellows in the public eye with swollen chests and distended abdomens who should be carefully adjusted under the roller of general condemnation and thinned out to their true and normal proportions. We do not say that Vermont would be a better state if flattened out or that it would be more flourish- ing if leveled down to the width and breadth of Ohio. But we venture the guess that it would be more pro- ductive. The human Vermonts that would be improved by the flattening process are more numerous than Bol- shevists in Russia or unrepentant Huns ir. Germany. To be puffed up with a foolish pride over little accomplishments; to be inflated because of an extra dollar in the pocket; to be expanded in the ego be- cause of some sheer piece of good luck is to play the part of a pouter-pigeon strutting the perch of circumstance. A firm leveling down of shod- dy pride would do most of us a world of good. It is a wise man that steam-rolls his per- sonal assets on occasion and examines his attenuated soul- stock in the quietof his study. Wemay beexcellent Vermonts in our own rocky way but we would be a darned sight more useful in the scheme of things as two-legged Ohios. Drawn by A. T. Menace “Four Dozex; Extra Dry” Tne Axnxuat Revue N spring we long for youth and beauty, to enjoy again the ardors of first love, and to eat green peas and asparagus. The sex rotif is apparent in the birds of the byway, and the stock broker in the street. It causes staid senior partners to blossom out in extravagant neckties and hosiery, and invite silly chits to lunch. And the women. Great Heavens! in massage creams and millinery! Male and female alike indulge in sundaes, throbs, spring tonics and self pity. A very dangerous season, but fortunately for u summer quickly follows, and burns up these strangé emotions in her furnace, leaving only a few clinkers of dissatisfaction, and some ash of vain regret to clog our mental cellars till the next great annual revival. How they riot soul Brier Decisions MEL K, it is said, is to be substituted for champagne at ship-christenings. America is enormously wealthy, in spite of the war, so we probably can afford it. * ° ° If there is anything in this reincarnation business, now is the time for Nero, Attila and the Duke of Alva to get busy. Compared to the Hohenzollerns, they'd seem almost respectable. . . New York City decorates many blocks to greet the boys ,',, coming home, whereas the Lg kaiser would have knocked a few off. Laughter is life’s center of gravity. . * * The tongue of the Liberty Bell is parched. * The Eighteenth Amend- ment legal sharps seem to be at lagerheads.