Judge — April 12, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Leave It to the Sailor s H. M. Pack, Noval Air Station, Pensacola, Fla T was a tense moment at the semi-weekly movie showin the Y.M.C. A. Faithless friends and ungrateful relatives had conspired to defraud the beautiful heroine of her inheritance. Desti- tute, alone and at her wit’s end, she sank down on a park bench. Great glycerine tears rolled down the poor girl's cheeks, and, as her lips mur: mured something, we saw her cry flashed on the screen, Oh, what shall I do now?” Up piped a Jack: “Join the navy and leam a trade.” She Knew Him By Liner, Wasa Taat, U.S, A captain and a first lieutenant were instruc- tors in the same specialty, the former being the senior instructor. The captain's wife on being introduced to the wife of the lieutenant was asked if she knew the lieutenant With a haughty air, she replied: “Why, yes, I know Lieut. Blank. He works for my husband.” Transport Song By Por. J.D, MeMasten, U. 8. Naval Air Station, Miami, Fla From somewhere here to somewhere there, The transports shuttle back and forth. A precious crew these vessels bear, From somewhere here to somewhere there, So, pilots, steer your ships with care, From somewhere here to somewhere there. Wrong Thinking By Cons Witte R. Mansmatt, Battery A, 11éth H. P. Ae 1. E. Pa Prance A German major, taken prisoner at Chateau- Thierry was very much agitated at being con- ducted to the rear by a buck private. “You d— Americans think you are going win this war, but you're not.” “Yes,” said his captor, “you d German, and you think you are going to the hospital, but And he pulled out his gun and ¢ not.” Such a Little Sergeant By Senor, W. Waramme, Let Depot B., @nd C. 0. R., Niagara Camp, Ontario, Can. Pvt. Pat Ryan stood six feet four in his stock- ings, the drill sergeant about five feet six. Hold up your head, Ryan,” yelled the ser- geant one morning. “Don't let me catch you looking on the ground again on parade. “Do I have to hould me head up loike this all the toime?”’ said Pat “That's what I told you,” replied the sergeant. “Then, be jabers, Oi'd better be wishing you good-bye, Sergeant, for Oi’ll niver see ye again.” Ten andes Deck This Week's Best Service Joke Cold Storage By Senor. Jeaourn M. Hanns, 0. Carrain—Where is your overc Private—Sir, I can not find it. Cartars—IWell, you'll find it on the payroll. Mirage Py Graato L. Kacrwan, fat Liret, Q. M. Corps The perils my ideals have braved, Through trials and contusions, Have given me this notion In sadness and in song— That the road to Happiness is paved With Fancies and Delusions, And the scheme of locomotion Is to kid yourself along Drown by Pvt. Dick Kexseor Mess the pots I'm gonna Iet 3 Regpie—Y'r sleep for two Mess S; peel spuds for two hours. after you finish scrubbing urs. y tent and Obedience By Pvt. C. C, Coox, Co. D, Hdgr. Bn. G.M.Q., A.B. Fn F P T, just returned from the trenches with his head swathed in bandages was the center of attraction. “How did you get wounded?” asked a proud admirer. “Well,” said Pat, “the dirty Boche wuz raisin’ Ned wit’ our trinches whin our brave captain shouts ‘Kape down, boys, and sthand Pat!’ Oi obade.” Ode to My Red Cross Girl By Wowano A, Hearty, Regtl. Sgt, Mejor, Inf. It isn’t because your savory pies Are the sweetest I ever had; It isn’t because the light in your eyes Has the power of making me glad; It isn’t because your parlor of rest Is filled with melodious cheer; isn’t because your “eats” are the best Of any we get over here. The reason I'll see you again and again— And I know very well it won't please— But after each meal, when I say “Combien"? Is the way that you say ‘*Swoss on dees.”” It “No Place Like Home" By Liver. Hannay BE. Caster, 808th Pioneer Inf, A. E. F. France Commanding Officer (to captain, a member of whose organization had lost a finger by acci- dental discharge of a hand-grenade)—What did they do with that man who lost the finger? Captain—Sent him home Irrepressible Licutenant (holding up two fin- gers)—Shoot! Soldier-Labor Problem Solved Ry Lier. S.A, Davin U.S. A A short time after the armistice was signed two “bucks” were discussing discharges and future employment. “You know, Bill, when we get out of this man’s army and try to get our old jobs back, we may find some ‘Jane’ holding them down. uits me,” was the ready reply, the ‘Jane’ and let her keep the job.” Vl marry Quick Action By Pvt. Jack Rosexnenc, Ord. Det. 19th P. A A.B. P., Frasce Sambo was relating to a friend how fast he could fun. “1 was once taken up in an airplane and I kept up with it—on the level.” “That’s nothing,” replied Sambo, “Ah once heard a shell coming my way and I deat it to the dugout.” | 2G Aa