Judge — April 12, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Flivverum in Parvo When Heary Makes 'Em Cheaper.—New York World. “So was I—got a tidy ole packet in the leg too; but I didn’t make as much bloody row about it as you're doin,’ either.” “I can stand pain with any man,” said Private Anson, and added thought- fully—“ when I want to.” “Well, I'd start wantin’ to pretty quick, if I was you. There’s a 1018 kid down with a big ‘ole in his mick, laughin’ at yer.” “T'll speak to him in the morning,” said Private Anson severely. “And what's more—" “There’s nothing more to be said,” in- terrupted Private Anson with dignity. “You was out at Mons, I was out at Mons, and you have seen fit to insult me. I don’t want any further conversation with you whatever, until I am recovered enough to knock yer bloody 'ead off. And now I’m going to sleep—good-night to you.” When the sister arrived the padre was mopping his brow with a large red hand- kerchief. “You want me, padre? Good heavens! whatever have you done to him? Hyp- notized him? I do believe he’s asleep.” “T’ve just been speaking to him,” said the padre, with a bland, Oriental smile. “I spoke to him in his own language. 1 sincerely hope and believe that he will be all right now. By the way, sister, there’s a special service at two o'clock to-morrow afternoon. I hope your duties will not prevent you from attending. Good-night, sister—good-night.""—Cham- bers’s Journal. Another Misunderstanding—His Girl—I suppose you picked up a little French patter? Returned Doughboy (earnestly) —You know I wouldn't do anything like that, Tessie, with you and me engaged all the time!—Buffalo Express. A UT O S§S Located—“ What’s become of the old- fashioned man who used to push a per- ambulator about the streets?” “T saw him the other day.” “What was he doing?” “He was cranking his flivver while his wife held the twins.""—Birmingham Age- Herald. Competent—“ You advertised for a “T'd like to get the job.” “What are your qualifications?” “Well, first, I know how to run a car.” “T should hope so.” “And, second, I testified in a breach-of- promise suit against my last employer and the show girl who brought suit didn’t get a nickel.” “You are engaged.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. Everyday People—‘ This is a home- “The people here scem to lead normal lives, too.”” . "Year" The ratio of flivvers to automobiles parked around the depot is about 10 to 1." —Birmingham Age-Herald, Warming-Up _ Exercise — Redd — Who's your friend? Greene—Oh, he’s one of the “hello boys.”” “What do you mean by ‘hello boys’?” “He always wants to try and start something.” “Well, bring him around tomorrow and let him warm up on that flivver of mine.” —Yonkers Statesman. Not Inspiring—“Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-hoss open shay!” “Yes!” “But nobody has written a carol about the one-lung automobile.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Little But Loud—“I used to call Jibway’s car a one-lung flivver, but I take it back.” “Why so?” “He trotted it out this morning and started to town about 6 a.m., when I was trying to get my beauty sleep. It sounded like a flock of tanks going into action."— Birmingham Age-Herald. comicbooks.com