Judge — April 5, 1919 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Vrawn by CaLvent Suire Nestinc Time: Birps oF a EATHER Why Are Preachers? By Freverick Moxon REACHING is a form of self-chastisement, admin- P istered by proxy. The aboriginal mentor who first felt the urge to warn and admonish had done some fool thing for which he called himself a, bonehead, or its prehistoric equivalent, and it relieved his feelings so much that he tried it on his wife and family, then passed it along to the neighbors and the tribe. Then he am- plified the epithet and showed why they were bone- heads, and how to reform their cranial defects. With increase of refinement, ‘‘bonehead” became “fathead,” then “sinner”; and the more sinners the more preachers, naturally. But now, modern improvements have done away with “sinners,” and in place of Preachers we have Gentle Per- suaders and Professors of Com- parative Morality. When a converted prize fighter feels a call to preach he is known as an “expounder.” The sermon used to be the One Big Thing in the order of ser- vice, but it now takes its allotted place and scheduled duration in the Sunday entertainment pro- grant, as arranged by the choir- director and organist. The Preacher fills in to give the quar- tet a rest. We still hear occasionally, of “poor country preacher: But the poor ones are not all in the country. The salaries paid in the city leave little margin for cul- tivating Puritan struggle against the snare of great riches. Neither are city preachers helped out by cords of wood, barrels of cid—we Wuen You're 2 Drown by Pave Rusty mean apples—pails of maple syrup, and such like tokens of affection from the folks of the parish. It is a mistake to associate Preachers with grave- yard gloom. We have had as much fun at a Billy Sunday circus.as at a Friars’ Frolic or Lambs’ Gambol. Her Task “Yore wife is considerable of a talker,’ said a neighbor. “Eh-yah!”” rather rucfully replied Gap Johnson, of Rumpus *Pears like s afraid if she don’t hurry she won’t get everything said up.” ” sympathetically Stereotyped Stuff Willis—They say Bump is a remarkable letter writer. Gillis—Most original fellow I ever corresponded with. I just had a letter from him in Florida and he didn’t once use the sentence “On the day when you had your biggest blizzard I was picking oranges in my shirt-sleeves.”” The Whole Show “Mama, are there any Huns in heaven?” “Of course not, deari “Well, mama, don’t you think I ought to go to Germany before I dic?” “What for, pet?” “Well, I’ve seen Santa Claus and the Grand Canyon and Charlie Chaplin and I don’t think J ought to miss any- thing before I die, do you?” Prohibition By ‘Tennyson J. Dara A hymn-book underneath the bough, A jug of lacteal from the bossy cow, Ahead a desert of distress, An endless dusty wilderness— House-Huntinc That’s all that’s coming to us now comicbooks.com