Judge — April 5, 1919 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Kidding Along: By Lawton Mackall econd act of a HE comes. It is then that inter- musical piece, like the second year of a marriage, is W O where the test to where the birdies of prey await him; the chorus dames who heretofore were “girl friends of the heroine,” are now strangely like their old selves as “‘merrymakers at the cabaret.” est sometimes sags. There one should watch for those little signs that indicate lack of attention or looking aside. People will insist on being pleased. It is unreason: able, of course—like the man in Shaw’s “ Misalliance’ who stormed that he wanted justice and was answered, “Nobody ever had it since the world began, fortunate for themselves; but you must have it, must you? But people will expect to be amused. Advertisements and lobby allurements, and favorable phrases from the reviewers, on the one hand, and on the other engraved wedding invitations and the silver and cut-glass ex- hibit, and the triumphal procession up the aisle: these are interpreted as auguring a Perfect Time. But wait until the second act. By the time you have sat through the first section of a musical show, you have seen all the principal peo- ple in the cast and found out what they could do. When tho skinny-legged and slick-haired youth went through the mouth motions of singing, you knew im- mediately that he could dance; and when the portly person remained in a twisted-train pose while her less obese associates frisked about fox-trottishly, you knew she was waiting to un- bosom a song. In the second act there they are again. The scenery has been changed and a new set ot costumes issued all around, but the action 1s still governed by the same principals. The heroine who formerly flounced about airily in white now flounces about airily in pink; the tough guy comedian who stumbled in and out with batches of gags now reap- pears with a touch of alco- olism added to his capers; the bony esoente aancey dem- onstrates a secon time, for the benefit. PA2# by Abbe of any who yet remain unconvinced, the important fact that his ankles are double-jointed, and that he can hold one foot in the air while hopping over it with the other, with nothing to assist him but the bass drum and cymbals; the pouter pigeon contralto, disguised as a mama or aunt, returns to contralto once more; the ever-bamboozled fat man comes back = teceaifita: MORTON One star power lantern. (Pas- ent applied for and refused). ffulgence supplied by Julia nderson, now taking her Canary” on tour. Something new must be intreduced. That is, moderately new. If any gentle- man present has a topical song about prohibition, let him trot it out, no matter how bad the rhymes are. If any lady present would like to do an impersonation of Eddie Foy or Ethel Barrymore, let her mince for- ward to the footlights and spring it. The spotlight pointer will give her every assistance. In case nobody on hand is equal to the occasion and it isn’t yet time for the plot to bob up again, out- side help must be brought in. ‘You've got me going, like Cleopatra did Mark Antony,” says someguy gram- matically. “Cleopatra?” queries a girl anxious to oblige. “Yep. That old Egyptian dame sure had the goods!”” And in wriggles an Oriental dancer—upturned palms, glass jewelry, unencumbered feet, and every- thing—more real than the mummies at the Metropoli- tan Museum. If Cleopatra isn’t on duty this evening it may be a pair of ballet artists culled from Russia or the Keith circuit. They canter in greyhound- ishly and kick, being always careful not to kick each other, wave their hands fin-wise; he swings her over a table, she swings him over a foun- tain, and then, asa grand wind-up, he twists her around his neck at the rate of thirty revolu- tions a minute, threat- ening the audience with her into applause. But the favorite stunt of all is the kid inter- lude. Small children with large eyes, doll faces, and carefully trained hair toddle in and “act cun- ning.” It never fails. Whether the plump prodigies toddle, strut, dance, speak, or imitate the Posed Exclusicely grown-ups, is im- for “ Judge material: they just need to be seen to be wildly ap- plauded. If that same audience should stray into Central Park or Riverside Drive some sunny afternoon, they would find several hundred cunning children. But would they applaud? I fear they wouldn’t. For childishness of every sort is no- where so honored as in musical comedy. comicbooks.com