Judge — April 5, 1919 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Wet, Tuere IS Sometuinc tn Beinc { Uncle Jass Says: By Exvus Parker Butter WOMAN don’t care how cold her feet get in church as long as she knows she’s got a right smart hat on. You can’t expect a cow to grow wings just because it’s a bother for you to open the pasture gate. When a man goes to serve on a jury he leaves his old clothes and his common sense to home. The longest day in the year has just twenty-four hours like the rest of ’em. Maybe the last rose of summer blooms all alone, but the first one don’t have much company to brag about either. The wise man admits he’s a fool, but he only half believes it. The best neighbor in the world is takin’ chances with friendship when he starts to keep chickens. A feller can be as altruistic as the dickens and still find it sort of inconvenient to pat a rattlesnake on the head. Last Chance The office manager scratched his head in bewilderment. “T can’t figure this out,” he mused. “All the men want the last two weeks of June for their vacations.” , Hero! Tue Heap Warter Recocnizes Me Now.” Egg View News-Notes By M ‘isee CANNON watched an expert Pollywog piano-tuner in action one day last week, and Muley says he believes that if all the noises the fellow made had been properly mixed up they would have sounded real pretty. erly looking forward to the informal opening of the fishing season on Moon Lake, Dow Ludlum has got hold of the biggest fish-pole ever seen in this neighborhood. He will approach the water with it on cloudy days only. Muley Cannon thinks that the only reason there ain’t any loop-hole in the Law of Gravitation is because no lawyer has yet found it necessary to discover one. The Saturday night picture play upstairs over the lock-up was interesting, exciting and educating. Dur- ing a close-up scene of a crowded big-city street, Button Edgin kept both hands on his pocket-book. According to Plato Prouty, a political candidate shouldn’t get too much in the habit of being nice and pleasant to everybody before Election, as there is danger of his keeping it up afterward. ‘Tink Nitz is in a hurry for the day to dawn when he will be rich enough to stick a nickel into an electric piano and then walk out of the store before the tune is half done. Lesure Van Every comicbooks.com