Judge, 1919-04-05 · page 10 of 32
Judge — April 5, 1919 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Touring Car of the Future" - Judge Magazine Satire This is a futuristic tour-guide satire imagining early 20th-century America as archaeological ruins. The narrator conducts a "touring car" of visitors past extinct institutions: theaters, cafés, dance halls, and satirical publications—all presented as historical relics, like visiting Roman ruins. The joke targets progressive-era anxieties: theaters and dance halls are presented as morally questionable (shop-girls with sailors), while satirical weeklies (Judge itself) are dismissed as mere artifacts. The most cutting reference: "America's last satiric weekly" now sells hygienic teething-rings—mocking how satire has become commercialized and obsolete. The companion cartoon shows a car mechanic exploiting a customer, with a humorous exchange about wartime "measures" (price inflation). Together, these pieces satirize both societal decline and contemporary profiteering, reflecting post-WWI disillusionment and class anxiety in Jazz Age America.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Touring Car of the Future O your right, ladies and gentlemen, the last theatre where public performances were given. That guide to the ruins that you see was the last of the extinct breed known as “actors.” earns his money virtuously To your left, a café where, as you know, wicked men congregated over their beer and sandwiches. Over there, an ancient dance hall. It is in that place that many a shop-girl amused herself in the evening with a sailor who held her around the waist while they waltzed. to you all. That squat building on the corner housed America’s last satiric As you see by the sign, it is now a store for the sale of hygienic weekly, tecthing-rings. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the Aquarium. study the marvelous way fish swim in water. Explained “war measure,” pa? Willie Willis—What is Papa Willis— Drawn by BLN. Sata + A.C. 2 Doctor Jones—Look here! I've paid you a lot of money to fix this car and it’s just as bad as ever. WwW. tinker with.” He now hat great building, now the Government School of Comparative nics, was a cigar factory. Subsequently it became a chewing-gum factory. The history of the fate of these two vicious industries is known We shall go in and Eight ounces to the pound around here, my son Doc, I can say the same about my rheumatism that 3 Drew by Pact Gooww He—By the way, Elsie, do yc when I went ay? A Greenwich Village Coon Song By Jane Burs ‘OU talks o° love and you leaves a kiss, But, nigger, dat ain’t no story-book bliss. You pets my hand and you eats my food, But you leaves my soul in a dretful mood. You ain’t got no more regelar peace Than a axle 'thout no axle grease I wants to fecl—aw, I jes’ don’t know, But I wants to feel youz a ‘stablished beau. I wants you to loll about my place Till I shuts my eyes to hide you face I wants to ser at my doo’ you Till I prays de Lord, you'll come no mo’; I wants you to come to me and stay ‘Till youz wore you welcome clean away. I wants to know you thu and thu Till I hates de very sight 0” you O nigger, jes’ what I wants, I Is to feel like a win’ swep’ hurricane deck! In a Dry Land Cleopatra pressed the asp to her bosom. “Cure for snake bite is getting mighty scarce, they warned her. Precedent Willis—Do you think the League of Nations will succeed? Gillis—I doubt it—but then, I can remember when I used to laugh at the Anti-Saloon League. comicbooks.co