Judge, 1919-03-29 · page 8 of 32
Judge — March 29, 1919 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several brief humorous pieces mocking early 20th-century American social anxieties and pretensions. **Top cartoon** ("Getting Off Easy"): Jokes about wealth and casual indifference—a dog ate $100 worth of food, but the owner treats it as trivial. **"Patience Ceases" poem**: Satirizes intellectuals obsessed with classical antiquity (Circe, Helen, Cleopatra, Salome, etc.). The speaker argues modern women are preferable to romanticized historical figures, mocking both excessive classicism and the tension between nostalgia and modernity. **Short jokes**: Mock upper-class anxieties (putting a bishop in the wine cellar; insurance policies protecting burglars) and marital infidelity presented matter-of-factly. **"Close Formation" cartoon**: Features what appears to be African American dialect humor—a common (and offensive) comedic device of the era—about avoiding military service while claiming patriotic duty. The page reflects *Judge*'s target audience: educated urbanites concerned with propriety, modern life, and social status.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by Joux Hero, Ja. Her—What is Taps? Him—A bugle call at ten o'clock that means “lights out.” Her—Well, it's ten o'clock. Patience Ceases By Grorce Sterne H! Circe me no Circes, And let fair Helen sleep! Pack off in purple hearses The naiads of the deep! Let Cleopatra slumber! Forget her melted pearl! Such memories encumber— Give me the modern girl! Phryne was all-too-thrilling, As my statistics go; Faustine was more than willing, And Thais far from slow. Their funerals were splendid, Historians decide; But why not call them ended, For lo! ‘Here comes the bride!” No doubt they found Salome A wonder in her day, But you will have to show me, For she is far away. Oh! wherefore this excitement For girls we cannot kiss? Nay! Better this indictment Of dead Semiramis! Oh! me for modern beauty! Sarcophagi, farewell! Now leave I, as a duty, Persephone in Hell. Believe me not too urgent: I cry but as I must, Imploring a detergent For all this Greece and dust. Getting Off Easy HEN I came home I discovered the dog on the dining-room table.” wful! Had he eaten any of the food?" “Fortunately only about a hundred dollars’ worth.” A Social Soul-Screen “She is a perfect hostess, isn’t she?” ertainly is. Why, at her dinner parties you never know that she isn’t enjoying herself.” The Big Risk “We had no room in the house, and had to put the Bishop up in the wine cellar.” “Heavens! Don’t you care anything about your wine cellar?”” Coming Shadows and Everything “T have called to ask you, sir, if you have any objection to securing a divorce from your wife, so that I can marry her.” “Not at all; but remember that you do it at your own td Modern Insurance Willis—My house was burglarized last night. Gillis—But you have an insurance policy. The insurance people will get the burglar. Willis—I'm afraid not. I understand that the burglar carries a policy in the same company, protecting him against arrest. Drown by E,W, Keaour Crose Formation “Ab'm glad, Mistah Close, dat yo’ ’scaped goin’ to de wah. Yo" wouldn’ hab de joy ob co’tin’ now.” “Puh-haps, Miss Snow—puh-haps. But I’s doin’ mah duty now— carryin’ on,’ as the sojahs say.” comicbooks.com