Judge — March 29, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Practical Pessimist By Prr. Jons H. Monais, U.S. MC BUCK private in the “chow house” con- tinued to eat serenely after all the rest of the company had had their fill. After ten min utes had passed the cook said disgustedly “There’s going to be another meal at five o'clock, you know.” “That's what I thought once before our house burnt down,” said the heavy eater. “I ain’t taking any more chances. Precedents By Prt. W, J. Pee, U.S. MC Corporal Finnegan, who was not over 5 ft. 2 in height, was the source of much amusement among his companions. After a group of his fellow non-coms had dis- cussed and come to a definite decision that small men were useless in action, Finnegan remarked: “Napoleon was a great general and he was a small man; Sheridan was a great general and he also was a small man; McKinley was a fine sol- dier and statesman and he was a small man; and sure everyone of you know that I am not very tall myself.” Sitting Game By Per, M.B. Resseat, Troop A, 13th Cavalry, MeAllen, Tezos At a cavalry post on the border recently, the Officer of the Day was making the rounds of the post. It was after challenging time. He seated himself on the corner post of a fence and waited for the sentry. The sentry, a recruit from the woods of Maine, rode slowly up and stopped only a few feet from the O. D. After waiting in silence for a few moments the officer asked: “ Well, what are you going to say? “Durned if I know what to say drawled the recruit, “If you were walking I'd say ‘Halt!’” Slumgullion By Sens. R.A. Dosarny, Co. 5 ALE. F., Pramce Ata certain A. E. F. camp the main food was the good old army “slum.’” One day one of the York City boys came rushing into barracks and seized his messkit. Where are you going, Sam?” inquired his bunkie “Getting fashionable again “What do you mean, fashionable?” Nh, I’m going slumming.” end Prov. Regt. getting This Week’s Best Service Joke The Irreducible Minimum By Court, Gov M, Vixcest, A. EP. France NEGRO soldier was “ crabbing” a and rain just before ut doing uch hiking in the mu of the dr burn the One on the Bugler By B.G. Cuan Ellington Field, Teas Sentry—Halt! Challenged One—Bugler of the post. Sentry—Stand where you are, you son-of-a-gun There will be no reveille in the morning! Who's there? Weight Gone 7.8. No end J.D. G Gob—Do you notice the old ship has a star- board list this morning? «Another Gob—Why shouldn’t she havi the port watch ashore? Military Courtesy By Court. W.N, Joxes, U. 8. S.C. Quantico, Va Drill Sergeant (decidedly peeved)—Look here, you; whenever you address me you want to say, Yes, sir,” or “No, sir.” Can that “Nope” and “Yep.” We don’t rate salutes, but we do rate respect. Y’get me? One-day-old Boot—Yep, 1 gotcha. Drawn by Pact. Haxsox, U.S. S. How the ocean looks on your home trip at sea after having pork sausages for dinner. Discharged By Howano Dirrz, Ex-Gob I M the uniform I wore When I was in the U. S. N. I miss the watches, drills, and more I miss the Navy men. I miss the too-familiar phrase “Pipe down, you're in the Navy now!” I miss the ensign’s haughty ways, I even miss the chow. 1 miss “police,” the komfort kit, The C. P. O., the bugle’s call, The “bright work”——and I must admit I'm glad I miss ’em all. Not on Her Mind fy Eow sno C. Levzen, Yeo. 2 f.. U.S. N Jack (to his married, dear? Sweetheart (sadly)—But who would have Jack? sweetheart)—Suppose we get Peaches First By Pr. Rowano Exton, Co. B, 0th Eng, A. EB. P., Fro Two boys on their way to the front purch a can of peaches between them. As they ne: the lines several shells whistled over them cc ing them with dirt and small stones. “Pretty close, what?” asked one. “Too darn close. We'd better eat those peaches now because we're liable to be bumped off any minute.” The Suspect The O. D. had given instructions for sentinels to challenge all persons after ten o'clock, but to challenge any suspicious characters} before that hour, About 7.30 in the evening a sentinel saw a man in uni- form enter a shed in which automo- biles were kept, and a few minutes later come out and start away with a hurried step. He was new on the job and was taking no chances, so “Who's there?” he called. “The Colonel,” came the reply. “Advance and be recognized.” “Who in the devil ever told you to challenge at this time of the night?” the Colonel asked. “The corporal of the guard.” “Do you mean to tell me that he told you to challenge everyone?” “No, sir; but he said to challenge all suspicious characters.” comicbooks.com ies WA: bad tae ae eee aks A a ae ee