Judge — March 22, 1919 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WH c) a " noun sen by Nowtas Aw A Beacon oF want 4 Win WH a u Wi ut " um "i n wi a UAH naan it HY Goop CuHeer The Efficiency Expert By i. Avsert Appie RING in the cigars we give our ninety-day customers!” I commanded the office boy. An efficiency expert had called. “Without efficiency,” he began, ‘you are lost. This is the age of efficiency. We must eliminate the duplication of effort—cut down lost motion. Did it ever strike you how much energy a dog wastes wagging its tail I shook my head. I was impressed. “Ten years from now,” declaimed the efficiency expert, “the dog’s tail will have a string tied to it and will operate a generator. Do you know that, by eff , you can make shoes wear longer?” ‘said I. “How? y taking longer steps.” Here he held forth a loose-leaf book bound in black leather. “See?” said he. “Statistics! [have them all. They call me ‘Statistics Sanders.’ I can quote the figures on anything—in decimal points or kilowatt hours. With my figures as the basis of your analysis, you will have no waste, be enabled to get from everything as much as you put in.” “T get more.” “Impossible.” My furnace,” I insisted. duces three tons of ashes.” “You are jocular!”’ he cried. Jocular! It was a great word. I determined to look it up later. Then I could make an impression by dropping it, offhand, at the club. “Do you know the exact meaning of ¢ he inquired with a superior air. “Fish in sea?” “No, no, efficiency tionary. Look it up.” “One ton of coal pro- ficiency ? Ah! I see you have “*Efficiency; same as above,” 1 read alou hat’s a queer definition.” He became coldly polite. “LT suggest,” he rebuked, “that above.” you sce what is Efficacy; power to succeed,’ I read “*Power to succeed,’ he repeated. “That's what Vil bring you. I see glorious new buildings”’—closing his eyes and gesturing toward the window—“ rising on r vacant lot Do you?” I asked with sudden competitor owns that piece of land.” He swallowed confusedly. “On New Year's Day,” I announced, “I resolved “My interest. to “Aha!” he cried, “shows lost motion again. On New Year's Day you should have resolved not to make any resolutions.” Clearly, he was a wonder. I waited, breathless. “How, for instance,” he went on, “would you reduce the working hours in your plant from twelve to four?” “Shut down at three o'clock.” “No, no, I mean to four hours a day.” Close at noon.” He threw up his hands. “‘Hopeless!”” he moaned feebly. “Once in a while I incline to these efficiency ideas,’ I started out, but he broke in: “Never say, once in a while. says, twice in a while.” “Five times in a while,” I continued desperately, determined to have my say, but again he shut me off: “Your business, made efficient by me, would astound the world. The last plant J installed scientif The efficient man comicbooks.com