Judge — March 22, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A Ballade of Prohibition frmy Mod. Schoo! Washington: NCE Homer old, the poets’ peer, Loved well the bounty of the vine; Horat for all to hear Sang high the praise of Chian wine; f And down through all the pocts’ line f} Good Bacchus’ praises never fail me But whence shall rise the bard divine To sing the song of ginger ale. Dan Chaucer held his cup right dear Ben Jonson loved the Mermaic In those good plays of Will Shakes} are i) And Bobby Burns “for auld lang s With whiskey told his jolly tale if But time has fled; let’s not repine At *Twas sack they quafied and malmsey fine; i} To sing the song of ginger ale. all One rhymester praised his “whiskey clear"; Others have loved the foaming stein; | Rum for the jolly buccancer; | Champagne where plate and silver shine. We offer at a new-made shrine And raise to it a piping frail i Ours is it when we go to dine To sing the song of ginger ale Ay L Envoi Oh, bards of all the muses mine To this new-risen chief cry “ Hai uf Come, poets all, your hearts incline To sing the song of ginger ale. | Stonewall’s Plan i By Joux F. Scocatws, U. 8. N / As an American troop ship pulled away from a New York dock on its journey to France, Stonewall Jackson and Wel- come Brown hung over the forward 1 rail and looked with solemn down into the choppy waters of the 1 Atlantic. ] “What yo’ all gwine to do, Stonewall, ! if one of dem pow’ful mean torpedoes ] smash into dis here boat?” | Stonewall remained silent for a minute, then he turned a sober face toward his brother in sorrow “What's I gwine to do?—Listen, Wel- come, my ole mammy done tole me dat dere nebber wuz but one man dat eber walked on de water an’ got away wid it—but ef one ob dem nigger chasers cher smash into dis boat—say, Welcome, \hm goin’ to be de second on faces This Week’s Best Service Joke Ho-Hum! 1, Noval Air Station Ry Exstiox WM. P The Captain's Errand 1. BLP, Few ptain Ru By Senor. §. Zrent What did ¢ want with First Buck you in the orderly roo: Second Buck—Oh, he just pplication for his old job in my canning factory wanted to put in his after we are mustered out A Risky Business By Pvt. UD. Pact, tat Troop, R. C.D. Stantey Barracks, Toront rachine descending look! One is Young Lady (watchir quickly in sham ttle) —Oh chasing the other down Soldierp—Oh, no. He just ran out of ga the other is pulling him down and Lieuts. and Loot Fors WAD WAS COOTAINEY A Looking for the Bird By Lacet, Passers Eaxey, U8 04 [ on¢ of the Southern camps colored women » permitted to do sewing and washing for the soldiers. One day a bundle of laundry was brought to a soldier’s tent. He was told it would be one dollar. For a joke he handed the negress a round, aluminum key check about the size of silver dollar. Looking at it searchingly, and turn ing it over and over, the negress exclaimed: “Go tain’t no money. Wher’ da hawk wahn, man; on dat dollah A Victim of Appetite By Laeet. A.V. Paswey, 080A ou’ll have to excuse me now for a while said the officer just as his admirers were becomi settled to hear of his martial exploits, “I hav been up in the first line qrenches four weeks and have slept scarcely a week in all that time. 1 have been constantly on the move, constantly murmured an admirer, “ Heroic duties * said the officer with a smile, “Hu The Mark of the Aristocrat By Maa RV. D. Macorres, QMO OOS A. The negro mammy of years ago who held so powerful and intimate a place in the Southern houschold is vanishing, and is likely soon to be come as rare as the dodo. But it pays to listet to what the few left ha s witness the following from Mam Ca'line: “Ob cos Miss Fanny gwine be de belle ob de ball She jus’ natchly hab dat rich look, just lak she neber et nuttin’ in huh life but duck elbows an’ chicken wrisses.” 0 say, Recognition By Por. Mesny T. Powstt, Base Hospital $1 A. E. F., France A colored soldier came to the hospital from the front to have his eyes examine Doctor—Can you read the first line of letters on that chart? Soldier— ah he last line consisted of two large Z and U. * read the blessé. Don’t read the whole line,” doctor. “What is the first lette “Ah don’t know, sah.” “How did you know that was ‘zu Ah don’ seen that on ginger-snaps at home, sah.” n comicbooks.com