Judge — March 8, 1919 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Happy Farmer By Wart Mason HE farmer drives his tea afield, and whistles gaily as he goes; thus have a thousand poets spieled, who were not wise to rural woes. I’ve seen all kinds of farmers go afield in grouchy discontent, but ne’er a granger did I know who whistled gaily as he went. The rustic groves are fine as silk, as lovely as the law allows; the farmer has to go and milk some twenty-seven swaybacked cows. And so he doesn’t care a whoop for all the lovely things in sight; he has to give the hogs their soup, and chore around through all the night. I used to farm when I was young, and was so busy pruning tre didn’t hear the birds give tongue to most entrancing melodies. I didn’t note if skies were gray, or of a most alluring blue, for I was busy pitching hay and shelling corn, the long day through. No doubt the summer dawn was fine; I didn’t mark its hues of gold, for | was chasing errant swine, and run- ning mules into the fold. No doubt the sun was gor- geous then; I had no time for solar goods, for I was hunting some old hen that had her nest out in the woods. I read the rhapsodies of bards about the charming rural life, and I am loaded to the guards with fierce de- sires for war and strife. For I have labored on the farm, Drven by Pour Keacay In tHe Supurss Tuey Cate rv “ Neicuporty Interest” and I would give a million bones if they’d identify the charm they sing about in ringing tones. No doubt the soft and gentle breeze should make the farmer smile and sing, but he is rounding up his bees, which never miss a chance to sting. The sunlight on the verdant plain should give his weary soul repose, but he is hiking down the lane to shoo away a flock of crows. ‘ I’ve seen a thousand farmer boys go to the field on labor bent; not one was bragging of his joys, not one was whistling as he went. a) : ' Egg View News-Notes oy Leste Vas HERM SPOOR is trying to think up an Lo) casy way to move his cellar. Corny Paine attracted considerable attention at the weekly picture show Saturday night, by getting up and leaving as soon as he had seen all of the play once. Erny Neff, our barber, caught a fine mess of fish, Friday afternoon, got them home, and would have scaled them, the stranger Erny was shaving told Erny it would be all right for him to let them set a while. Bill Waite, our grocer, who was in Pollywog the first of the week closely observing how big mercantile establishment looks after its trons, has been up-to-date ever since his re turn. He bids each of his departing customers “Good-bye,” even if it’s only Tink Nitz step- ping outside to see whether it looks like rain. Every Safe Mistress (to prospective colored maid)—And you’re sure if I took you I’d have in you a re- Drown by Wanxsoaue Ri liable servant? How Miss Faltum—Oh, Licut. Hi-flite, I think you are a wonderful hero! does it feel to go up in an airplane? Lieut. Hi-flie—Why—er—just the opposite from coming down in one! Ebony A pplicant—Yes, honey, you kin trus’ me. Tain’t got no habits at all, no habits whatsomever. comicbooks.com