Judge — March 1, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Painful Sarcasm Ky Sewcr, Goonce W. Duerwe, U8. 4 CERTAIN hard-boiled lieutenant called in a sergeant to letter his locker. “ After thinking it over,” he said “you might leave the Lieut. s I expect to be made captain shortly.” Why not,” innocently suggested the ser- “ ave a space between the Lieut. and your first name so you could insert ‘Col. Some Practitioner . Co. L, 26th Taf, Camp Lewis, Wash Sam Brown with an overseas cap and two bars on his arm was back, in town. “Hello, Sam, haven't seen you for a long tia. Where have you been?” asked an old acquain- tance. “Ah’s been ovah in France wid da United States Vetahnahy Fo'ces.”” “Veterinary? I guess you mean veterans, don’t you, Sam?” “No, Ah reckons Ah means just what Ah says—vetahnahy, Ah jest naturally been a vetehnahy—feedin’ them German dogs gun- powder for they distemper.” Out of Luck By Cramesce S. Hexpensax, U.S. 8. Rijatan A colored soldier on the deck of a troop trans- port walked by the first guard who was sleeping and into a private barred space. When he came to pass the second guard, he was told that he could not pass First’ Guard (waking)—Halt, know you all can’t go by here. Soldier—I can’t’ go. this-a-way and I can’t go that-a-way. What am I going to do? Guard—Laws me, brother, I done speck you better ‘vaporate niggar, you A Case for Discrimination By Per 5. Mrorono Hyves, So 4 TL t a The lieutenant was instructing a class of rookies in the art of Who, Where and When to salute, when one of the elements anxiously inter. d sir, we are coming along a dark alley and we see coming to ward us a man in uniform, wearing spiral leggings, and with his cap pulled down—and we can hardly tell that he is an officer—what should we do: “Just pass him!’ was the prompt answer. “In that case he wouldn't want to be recognized.” Drown by Semat. C.8. Conn, 5th C The-left-bchind—When I get bac trying to find the guy who wrote iquids 8. Gen. Hospital 16, om) AL and myself on furlough in New York did not notice that the clerk at our * after our names on th 0 bottles. the desk answered, “I'm t be issued by the Quarter By Por. Heaneat Hoerretoen, Co. K., 105th Inf US. A Inquisitive doughboy on French troop train (to one of our colored soldiers repairing the road) What town is this, bo? “I don’t know. White folks they done shot all the name off this place.” His Worldly Possessions th Co, Inf. Repl. & Tr. Trompe Ry Por. A. Jaws Down, ¢ A colored soldier was about to be discharged. “Have you an allotment?” asked the officer. ; iberty Bonds?” “No, sah.”” “Well what the wed the officer. “Tse got a wife and seven kids, periences and $32.40, sah.” thunder have you go some ex- . bth Mechanicn Regt home I am going to spend the rest Somewhere in France There's a Lily JUDGE When the Tocsin Sounded By B.C, Stute, U.S... VERY beautiful and charming actress assistu by her dashing, dimpled chorus appeared a theatre near a sub. base and sang “I Want to be Loved by a Soldier.” Most of the men ir the audience were gobs, so not much applause was tendered. For the encore they sang “I Want to be Loved by a Sailor.” A sailor who had just come ashore after being in foi waters for six months, rose, threw his hat and coat in his seat and started over the backs of the seats, yelling “Over the top, boys, and give ‘em H ! At Last! By Bane J. Haut, 0. 8.8 During the flu epidemic in San Francisco, when all public meeting places were closed, ar the entire population was compelled to we masks to prevent the spread of the disease, « drunken man was overheard muttering: “Well, Iam an old man but I have lived my time and am ready to quit. I have lived to four great things come to pass—the end of the war. the churches closed, saloons left open and thy women muzzled. Limited Finances RW. Gnome, 8714 Aero Seda. U.S.A Spent Ry Conve Hank—Had a big time last night. two bones. . Serg—Big time on two dollars! How do you get that way? Hank—But, Serg., that was all the girl had. His Idea of Big Doings Wy 4.4. Esuon, Yo M,C, A. No. 85, Ca VY. M. C. A. See’y (to colored janitor)—Sambo, you ought to have been down to the hut tonight. We had a swell affair on. Sambo —Say, did preached? you? Who Scientific Argument By Paroemie W. Gaxzenr, Med, Det, 12th Is ar a The Medical Officer on a troop train was explaining the nature of the influenza germ to the colored porter. “Well, Cap'n, ‘pears to me that that guhm would freeze to death in this cold weather, ’cause an ani mal o’ that size would hardly have blood enough to keep body an’ soul togethah.”” comicbooks.com