Judge — February 22, 1919 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

February 22, 1919 by R nsey Tnosesos “Howe's Warne The Mule-Skinner Speaks By I tue Heart Is’ Grecory Harrswick CANNON aint a cannon any more, It’s a cross between a spy- -glass and a rattle; Why, strictly speakin’, war ain't even war— Leastways, a battle ain’t a recly battle. ¢ up to every blame’ flumdiddlin’ trick: ‘They paints things up all twisty-ways an’ mazy, Or ties a piece o’ sackin’ on a stick An’ calls it camelflage—I calls it crazy. But certain things don’t foller under no newfangled rule— \ wagon’s still a wagon, an’ a mule is still a mule. They hauls supplies by motor Over There: The drivers calls °em “‘cammy-ongs” or “* It makes you cry to hear ’em try to swear, \n’ Ananias blushes at their stories. When things go wrong they’re simply out 0” luck, For spite o° all their tinkerin’ an’ fussin’ They can’t do nothin’ pers’nal to a truck, And they’re reely only amachoors at cussin’. r if you kick a “cammy-ong” it’s you that sheds the tears; \n’ what’s the use o’ langwidge when a thing ain’t got no ears? lorries.” New stuff’s mebbe right an’ mebbe not; | can’t deny that motors make a showin’; But listen: if one cylinder gets shot They can’t just cut the trace an’ keep a goin’. Their mag is always gettin’ on the fri Their carburetor’s friggled by the weather, While all I need’s a pair o’ snaffle bits; The tongue the good Lord gimme—an’ the leather! Yep, mules fer mine. (Good night! There’s Twenty hollerin’ for shrap—) ili! You frazzle-eared galumpin’ sons of Jezebel—git ap! His Day of Reckoning When Bill Jones, buck private, returns to find his sergeant delivering ice; the lieutenant collecting the bills for the coal dealer; his captain to sell him a new car; and his major running for state senator— tohe it from us, boy, his time for revenge has arrived. Simplifying It I haven’t the strength to comb Fido. His hair is too thick and curly. vt you comb him for me?”” ‘ot I,”’ said her heartless husband, “but I'll get you a hairless dog.” The 1 mds large We good health if we would enjoy wh dl y an aid to soune to the t_degree—and good tweth. Dr. Sheffieid’s Créme Dentifrice has bee teeth since 1850. jealthy ‘Today it is the result of sixty-nine years of experience and ever in- creasing success in the manufacture of dental paste. Through the uso of only the purest and best ingredients and by constant study of the latest theories as practised in modern dentistry, a moro perfect blending of skill and science in dental paste is not obtainable. A better product is not possible at any price De. SheMeld’s Creme Dentifrice has a pleasant, soothing effect on the Kums, distributes Itself thoroughly and It is a delicious and eMc of the tecth not only a be Sold in 10¢ and 25¢ tubes. DR: SHEFFIELDS Ss... CREME E DENTE white, healthy teeth. constant daily care Ask your druggist for Send 1c im stamps for a medium-size tate. of 2Se for fall size Note bow ‘ant thoroagbly ventifrice ‘Shefheld Denti joy, 421 Canal rk Civ. ' Drawn by Nowwan Axtuony Magazine Cover Girl—My! What a long service stripe! Magazine Cover Soldier—Yes, I've seen service on over 200 fronts! comicbooks.com