Judge — February 15, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Draton by Zi Ps Xs nt aye a Botsnevixi In tHe Barnyarp i 2. BA Ho Cea, as WD a5; meek « J Tea and === Deck Mathematics By BV. Waiowr, Musician, Naval A THE young ensign had just returned from his wedding trip. The day was stormy and he remarked that his wedding day was the same. “But,” queried the lieutenant, “you don’t believe in signs, of course? “No, of course not, but I’m afraid my wife does. Some crazy old gypsy told her the number of her children would be regulated by the hour at which she married. We were married at one o'clock.” “Well, you know the clocks have all been an hour fast latel n bore Discipline By Cowwrssany Stewann R. Eo- uastey, U.S. S. Mertha Washington It is a hard matter to keep a crowded transport in a sanitary condition as men assigned to that duty soon foundout. Henceorig- inated an expression heard on all troopships: “You can’t stand here, soldier.” One day when the ship was rolling about 25 de- grees, a big buck private of dark hue came lurching down tne deck following His Presence Essential By Larct. Roanx Baaprono, Ft. Haneset, N. J. Pvt. Botelloo, who was undergoing ten days of restriction to camp, appeared one morning before his captain and asked for a special pass. “But you are restricted, Botelleo,” the captain reminded him, “and I can not give you a pass unless it is important. Is this important?” “Well,” he explained, “she isa not import’ But I getta married, and I like to be there.” All Dressed Up By Por. Carsten W. Suaren, A. E. P., France ESS practically demands the resurrection of the brass knuckle. No steak can be en- joyed without a pair. It was at a recent mess, in a well-known cantonment that a private, after working out on a slab of meat for ten minutes, declared to the cook: “I’m not sore on the quartermaster for delivering this horse. But, if it is not asking too much, I wish you'd put in a request, through channels, 7]! have the animal un- harnessed before the next delivery.” His Master's Voice By Pv. Butea L. Miter, Med. Dept, 68th Eng, A. EF. France A private desiring to get @ pass went to the orderly room where a major and captain were. After hear- ing the request, the captain said: “Who gave you per mission to speak to me?” “Wh-wh-why, I don’t know, sir. I knocked, sir, and somebody said ‘come in?” How It Was Born Ry Senor. Davro Woonsior, Co 4, 65th Regt. Tra 4. EP the mess line. As he hauled up alongside a new ad- dition to the ship's com- pany, he remarked “Boss, dis sho is the cheapest drunk I'se ever had—Ah jist can’t walk straight.” Just then the ship took an unusually long roll throw:ng the soldier sprawling on the deck, with his mess kit going high in the air emptying the cont :nts in his face as it came down, \ sailor standing by shifted his “roll your own” aod said: “You can't lay there, soldier.” * Camp Sevier, 8. C. Negro Rookie (halting major)—Whatta you doin’ out heal dis time er night? Don’t you know dat bugle don> blowed? “Can't you recognize me? I’m a major, an w, sir; de Lieutenant said not to ‘low no- body to cross heah.” “Listen here, your licutenant wears one bar, his superior wears two and a major wears the gold leaf. I'm a commanding officer. “Yassar, Boss, excuse me, sar, I’se neber knowe! what dat is. We uns just call any old boob ‘ Major’ down home whar I lives.” Drawn by L. Cosmixo Cuan Coxstea Sweet Young Thing—Oh, do the officers sleep in these small boats! 1s, Q. MM, Nawal A fk, Va. Hey, Del! ation Station. Bump up the stern sheets! Turn Out the Development Battalion! By Senor. Hanoun W. Hixowax, 10th C. A. ©. (LAL) Ft. Moe- Arthur, Calif. Owing to the shortage of men, a youpg Italian recruit was placed to guard a post of minor im- portance. During the night, the officer of the day approached the post on his tour of inspec- tion and here is what was said: Halt.” (Long silence.) “Well, speak. Speak. Say something.” “Me no spik Englees.” This Week's Best Soldier Joke On the Calling Cards By HO. Anvore, ¥.M.C. A. No. 5, Camp Kroz, Ky N' Exutstep Cororen Sorpier — Halt, “ Lieutenant, you can't get across dat line, My orders is not to let nobody across dat line.” “ Well, call the corporal of the guard,” the officer suggested, “Huh, ue call him. You needs him worse than I does. "You call him yo'self.” A discussion arose as to the origin of the phrase “No Man’s Land,” where upon a Tommy said: “It was at the Marne and we were accompanied by an American correspondent who during a lull in the fighting stuck his head over an Allied trench and seeing no one remarked ‘Nobody Home.’ ”” **Some Mess’’ By Per. Wauren Dean, U.S. 4 oO", the bugle, bugle bugles, Blowing now, now, now, So we'll toddle, toddle, toddle, Toward our chow, chow, chow. Now our tummy, tummy, tummy, Growing lank, lank, lank, Told us we were empty In our tank, tank, tank. If it’s soupy, soupy, soupy, Or it’s stew, stew, stew, We just fasten on the nosebag, And we chew chew, chew. But it’s glory. glory, glory, When our feet, fect, feet, Go a-sprintin’ for the mess hall And we cat, eat, eat. comicbooks.com