Judge, 1919-01-25 · page 11 of 32
Judge — January 25, 1919 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Old Ways" by Walt Mason - Judge Magazine This page contains a satirical poem by Walt Mason lamenting America's return to peacetime discord after World War I. The cartoon at top shows a wealthy man in a car (labeled "U.S.A.") being approached by a working man—likely representing post-war class tensions and economic inequality. Mason's poem argues that during the war, Americans united against a common enemy (the Hun/Germans), but now that peace has arrived, they've reverted to petty feuding: politicians scheme, merchants undercut each other, society women gossip and mock each other's appearance, sports fans quarrel, and neighbors squabble. The author sardonically suggests Americans prefer conflict to genuine peace. The brief comic exchanges below satirize Hollywood filmmaking and domestic absurdity—typical Judge humor filler. The overall message reflects post-WWI disillusionment about whether wartime national unity could create lasting social improvement.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
, Gassep To A Finisit | ud n (to the submissive tax-payer)—Now then, | 54 hustle on! Fill up this machine and don’t fail to pour you've g The Old Ways: 4y Walt Mason E’RE getting back to old-time ways, the cus- digging up old tricks, the stratagems of politics, and toms of the pre-war days—hast noticed, heave the brick and boulder. friend and brother? Until the recent war The merchant princes of our town now greet each f was done we stood around and cussed the — other with a frown, no more their kind smiles dazzle; if t | Hun, and now we cuss each other. one puts ona bargain sale, the other fellows will not fail When foemen hammered at our door we got together, to beat him to a frazzle. [ more and more, our little rows forgetting; we said, I hear the gossip of the dames; they’re taking up the “We will together stand until we've saved our native old-time games, they’re bu mischief making; they land, on that you may be betting. We're all Ameri- say that Mrs. Spry’s too fat, and jump on Mrs. Gamble’s cans,” we cried, “‘and we are out to get the hide of Bill, hat, and give her gown a raking. They they’ve the Teuton leader; we'll give the Hun what he deserves, heard that Jabez Marr has got himself that fine new car and show a line of fancy curves; just watch them, — by cheating his own mother; they’ve heard it said that f gentle reader.” Mrs. Gast has had three husbands in the past, and now The love feast of the recent past! Alas, it was too — she seeks another. good to and now that war is ended, we get back to And we who read the sporting page now find the old-time ways, and fuss around with neighbor jays, _ ball fans in a rage, they call each other blighted; and } nd many shirts are rended. just a while ago, by heck, there wasn’t any game on : ‘The statesmen drop their smiles serene and think up — deck, o’er which to get excited. i scathing things and mean to say of Vother fellows; and We're getting back to olden times, to old-time ' language sulphurous or blue obscures the justly famous ways and old-time crimes, to wrangling and to } view whene'er they work their bellows. A few short yapping; but let your qualms and tremors cease— weeks ago, ah, me! They strained their gaze across the we don’t enjoy the boon of peace unless we have our | a, and longed for guns to shoulder; and now they’re — scrapping! Referred Evening Things Up M Magnate—Have you thought up a plot for the picture Mrs. Benham—Baby has swallowed some of your ink we've just finished filming? Benham—Al right; I'll get even with him by filling the ; Director—No; Vil let the reviewers attend to that. fountain pen with his milk. comicbooks.com