Judge — January 18, 1919 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i | = ) ‘ H \ A “Keep Off” Sign By M $rd C1, U.S. NRE PRETTY young woman who was wandering through one of our great training camps saw a man with the letters “M. P.” on his arm Turning to her companion, she said: “You mustn’t flirt with that fellow, Jane.” “Why not?” “Because those letters on his arm stand for ‘Married Private.’” nan 8. Campanas, Veo. His Own Sahara ary, Co, 19, Sth Br mp Diz, N. J. My hair is full of grimy sand, it’s running down my neck, At every meal I'll bet two bits I eat a half a peck; It drops into my army shoes and gets between my toes Thave to shut my wind blows. I find it in between my blankets on my cot at night, It scores my hide and spoils my rest, I'm mad enough to fight. The sight of grass would make me faint; I never 133nd Depot Brigade, Ry Senar. Jony L yes and gasp each time the old see it here, And when I see a grass seed ad. I wipe away a tear. I cannot read a magazine, I cannot write a note! My gosh, if I can even think! This sand has got y goat It fills my eves and nose, my ears; I feel just like a tramp, I wonder why in H- np! they picked a desert for a A Get-Rich-Quick Job By Per, Wrist R. Bisex, Q. MC. Ft. Thomas, Ky. A captain in the Q. M. C., burdened by the many duties he had to perform, was very much worried for fear the office of Summary Court Officer would also be put on his shoulders. A private who had recently been fined $48 by this court, overhearing his comments, advised him that he would be foolish if he refused the job. “Why, Captain, you could make a fortune out of it in no time. H—, it only took Capt. —— three minutes to get $48 out of me Condiments M. Kany, Co. §, Sri Ra. € Moe Arther, Tex By Por Kaw 1.0.7.8. Camp A certain Westerner was sent to an Officers’ Training Camp in one of our Southern camps, but he never started his training because the armi stice was signed and he was returned home. Be fore leaving camp he wired his wi ““Mustered in Monday. Mustered out Wednes- day. Home Friday. Too much mustard!” Mat MY & Rep Cross Workers In Our Home Town ‘Teat ~—— This Week’s Best Soldier Joke Squads, Gather Rocks—Chunk! Ry Senct. Mason Gronce W. Lrwx, 21st Aero Service Soda, AWE. P. "THE shades of night were falling fast, The motor flopped in place at last. The “mech” expired without a s They opened up his head and four Excelsior! Almost By H.W. Semana, U8. 8 Old Lady—And were you on the President Lincoln when it went down? Survivor of the Lincoln—No, ma'am. “Well, where were you? “Twas on a life raft.” Conversion hy Mas. DH. Tonner, 808th Pioneer Inf. A. E. P., Franee On shipboard, Private George Washington, colored, when asked how the men liked the big ocean, said, “Well, sah, those who used to carry dice, now tote nothing but the Bible, nothing but the Bible And Now Look at Him! Grea Drncers Wea uG CLD. Jot Hexornsos Washington, D.¢ k who, before the me a cake of yeast.” Drown by Pe r, wouldn't even See-Saw Per. Witte R. Brack, Q. Sf. C., Ft, Thomas, K BUCK private who had just been “busted” from a corporal was congratulating his cap- tain on being made a major. “Major, I cer tainly do hope that your promotion will be more permanent than mine was.” Close to the Throne By Casares J. Guana, 1. 8. Black Hawk Lieutenant (examining third class fireman for promotion)—Botts, who is the secretary of the na’ Botts—Well, sir, | used to know but I forget now. “Now, come on! Who is it? Murphy or O'Flanigan?” “Well, sir, Mike Murph but he’s his aide.” Wilson, Mike ain't the secretary Taking No Chances 3. Courses, Squadron A, Shoal, + Bieta, bal Sergeant (telephoning tailor)—You send out the clothes and if they are O. K. I will send you my check Tailor—Won't do it. You send me the check first and if it is O. K., I will send you the clothes! Ry Sent. Mort li Service Flying Blade Parade By Por. Cuynurs ALN Ord. Bield Depot No. 152, Fr Osicthorpe, Tenn it—You know, Bill, a after a few months of this 1st Ord. Serg man’s mind gets pret} life. ond Ord. Sergeant head for a thing lately my razor. Righto! I haven't used except as a drill ground for At the Bottom S.N.R.F.. Cherrystone Inland Neral Bose M. Trnurss, U. Cape Charles, Va. Ky ¥ A second-class seaman after pulling a “bone was approached by a shipmate. “Yes, and the man said he was going to bust you, too.” “Let him bust than Iam.” “What's your rating now?” “Landsman for apprentice seaman’s helper.” He can’t bust me any lower Utopian Mas. D. 1. Tomney, Sosth Pioneer Inf, AE. F.. Fra A colored soldier, regretting audibly the sonal character of being shelled from a distance, said to his officer: “If they just only used razors, only razors, then all you white folks would have to do would be to keep the books, just keep the books.” comicbooks.com