Judge — January 4, 1919 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Official Communiqués of the Future How to Report the Occupation of French Towns Whose Names Can Be Pronounced By Gevetr Burces Illustrations by Witrrep Jones HE appended suggestions were made to the International Peace Conference at Versailles so that adequate measures might be for- mulated to make sure that all future wars shall be conducted only along strictly pro- nounceable lines, and that Balkan campaigns shall be limited to towns of not more than fifteen consonants. As examples of war reports of the enlightened future, the following ideals were submitted: French Day. Advancing towards Fiancée early this morning succeeded in entering Boudoir at 9 a. M. and occu- pied a very strong position just south of Mademoiselle. After breaking the enemy’s resistance, with an encircling movement we finally surrounded Corsage and gradually ascended the right side of the Blouse as far as La Valliére, North-east of Decolletée. After a counter-attack at Ruche, we pushed on Northward to Coiffure. In the afternoon the battle was resumed at four o'clock with great fury. Strong efforts were made to drive us from Velours, where our right flank was resting; but our position was too well consolidated, and the enemy was driven back behind Portiére. Nicut. We maintained constant touch with the enemy, who had retired to Escritoire; and, after a violent struggle, we captured Billet-doux, with Verve and Sang Froid. The my is in Déshabille. Reorganizing our position we enveloped Georgette. Local points of penetration near Sachet and Rosette were reduced by thrusts along the Voile. After getting French—Apvancixc Towarp Fiancte, We Succrepep 1x Exterinc Bovupoir. into touch with Rouge, we advanced past Passementerie down as far as Mousquetaire. Despite desperate re- sistance, by a brilliant surprise attack we secured Marquise and Solitaire. As a result of this operation we are now in possession of Souvenirs. We then renewed our pressure on Chiffon, causing the enemy to retire to Salon. At the same time we advanced on the West side of Modiste, threatening to take Chapeau, which has now fallen. Our strategic plan now was, having gained Souvenirs, to extend our right and envelop the whole of Trousseau and Lingerie, thus compelling the enemy to give up Porte Monnaie, which was very strongly held, and the key to the situation. This would have soon ended the campaign. But unfortunately the enemy, by strik- ing a sudden and severe blow near Moustache eom- pelled us to retire South of Portiére, to Salon. Our left flank is now resting on Chaise Longue. We are waiting to be reinforced at Reveillé. American Day. Early this morning we advanced, entering Café in the afternoon. Later, after a sharp action, we descended the right side of the Menu and arrived South of Hors d’Oeuvres, completing the conquest of Caviare. It was necessary to do some mopping up at Consommé and Bouillon. We then pushed on to Bouillabaisse, which was taken with Empressement and De Luxe. We are progressing in Champagne, where our movements are very rapid. Our tanks-are terrifying the enemy. Our line now extends from Champignons- British—Arter a Suoxt Reconnarssance We Carturep Renavutt-Panuarn. —_— a