Judge — January 4, 1919 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Rookie Realisms By Private Ambulance Co The Stra URING the first few days of the life in a national soldier mill, when the old job in the brickyard arouses pleasant memories and the itch of the vaccination scratches on the left arm is a pretty harbinger of future happi ness, a rookie is made the recipient of numerous gifts. At the outset he is usually nonplussed Then, as the gratuities continue, he is impressed with the remarkable and timely display of altru- ism, and frequently, if he has an arm that is free, he rests his face at his elbow and lets the copious tears, welling up from a heart touched by the gargantuan generosity, seep through the O. D. and lose themselves in the meshes of his regulation issue fleece-lined underwear. Some, less emotional, receive their presents without comment but in their faces the trace of apprecia- tion can readily be detected. ‘There never yet has been a soldier, no matter what his calling in civilexistence, nor how callous he may have been to the niceties of life, who, with a pair of trench shoes in one hand and a pair of leggins in the other, can resist the appeal of the simple words: “Move on there, Birdie. Whaddyuh think a Christmas tree?” Curster W. Siarer, Train 330, 310) Tick this is And The gifts come in a breeches, underwe: leggings, hats, gloves, mahogany combs, puptents, ponchoes, raincoats, blankets, cots, and in fact, everything that goes to make the tenure complete. Nothing is overlooked that might contribute, even in the smallest way, to the general idea that the government is in carne And of all the gifts, from the lowliest to the most magnificent, not one stands out more prominently, not one is more impressive, than the unpretentious, unostentatious canvas tick. It is this slight indication of democracy well-wishing that immediately becomes an un- approachable and unassailable asset and gradu- ally grows into a keepsake that outranks the steel trench mirror from sister, the combination jackknife nail-file and bottle-opener from the Lodge, and the half-dozen initialed khaki hand- kerchiefs from Clarissa The tick is made of canvas and while still in an unemployed state is six feet long and three feet wide, with a slit two feet long in the upper surface. With this in possession, the recruit is directed to the nearest mule or horse stable where, through the crevasses in the top, straw is chucked until the proper obesity is secured Two sets of strings, tied in neat bows, secure the contents, and the tick, in perfect adjustment, is lugged back to the barrack and deposited on the issue cot. The tick represents a covering for the springs of the cot and offers an attractive protectior from aerial raids. It is the foundation for Rookic dreams—the location of his daily efforts to out wit the duty sergeant—the basis for his greatest comforts. On this tick, when it rains without, the soldier sits and reads or polishes his piece. There he draws to his four hearts or the straight that is open at both ends. There he discusses the latest rumor and talks of the fishing seasons There are shoes, cat variety r, socks, veneered slouses, that will be open after the war. On his tick he ticles designed for th aturday inspection and under it he hides those that are not. There he does his bunk-fatigue during the y and his conscientious dozing at night. It means more to him than his week-end passes. If he were forced to leave it in order to progress upward he'd choose to remain and eliminate all ambitions but those held in connection with the daily: mess. The straw tick, with its plebeian outlines, its spreads the crude form and its humble composition, has demonstrated .the plausibility of nine o'clock closing and has shown conclusively that the ideas on sleep held by fond parents who have arrived at the evening paper stage of life, are logical and right. Moreover it has persuaded the resolution that, after the wild-boar hunts in the Black Forest are carried out under American suggestions and regulations, there will be a fuller and more settled respect for the theories of the double-bed back home. You may have your choice of more than 2,000 Teo 2 “Wurlitzer” ha i ality for nea Pr Eeisoadt. Oblo cents a day. The name Wurlitzer” has stood for the highest quality for nearly two Pete BUTT teat Oe centuries. Evei instruments for a week’s trial in your own home. you wish, you may send it back at our expense. Trial does not cost you a penny. || Convenient Monthly Payments ‘known musical instrument sold to you at direct-from-the-mawufac- Play it as if it were your own. Then, it The Redsloh Wrlitzer Co, Gentiemen —Plesse send me your 10. turer's price. We have supplied the U.S.Government with trumpets for 55 years. ages leet Send the Coupon! {1x23 eens oo ness on ra There's no obligation. W | | If you decide to buy you may pay the low manufacturer's price at the rate of afew Address Lam interested in for Gorect frows toe Name of tavtrement bored comicbooks.com