Judge — January 4, 1919 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE ‘Teat Deck Anp It Was A Joyous Harpoon-Fest Waite It Lastep! ‘ Drove by Bearman Haatwax No Steering Gear : ; Order Arms! By Caves Sam Hooasoy, Co, 15,C. M. 04 CO.TS. Camp This Week’s Best Soldier Joke By Boten Hanon Hivowan, Co. 6, C. A.C. (L. A.), Ft Ge Mestrthur, Cal Her Orders NEWLY made soldier in Porto Rico who had By Laer. J. H. Cuampron, sth Eng. Tn. Regt. Comp A.A OFFICER of the Day—What would you do if a a Us German soldier crossed your post, carrying a fourteen-inch disappearing rifle? Sentinel—Sir, I would halt him and put him through the manual of arms. never owned a pair of shoes finally suc- vepye re. VERY homesick darky trooper, returning from ceeded in getting on those issued him. very cautiously, he announced: “T can walk straight ahead but I can’t turn corners in ’em.” Moving the fighting in France, looked up, hat in hand, as the transport passed the Statue of Liberty and murmured. Well, lady, if u ever wants to see dis here nige ger again you gotta" iJ ut face.” Gay Life It Had to Be Done As You Were By Pv. Geonce C. Nout, $14 Co., 154th D. B., Camp Meade, Md. Office in Charge (at rifle range)—Sergeant, have, you any more men to shout? Sergeant—No, sir,] am going to shoot myself now. Efficiency By Sent. Geonce W. Dicken, Animal Embarkation Depot, Newport Nees, Va. Stable Sergeant (to rookie)—Take this pail of grease, and grease No. 49 cart. Rookie (returning two hours later, covered with grease)—Sir, I have greased it all but the inside of the box. Did you want that greased too? His Majesty the Cook Drown by Cart. R. McG. Mackatt, A. E. P., Prance “The guy that got me to enlist said I'd be stationed in Paris.” Drawn by Pvr. 3. R. Swrrren, Marine Barrack. Barracks Detachment, Navy Yard, Philadelphia, Pa. Private Swink was busily engaged in repair- ing a telephone wire when the band began to play “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Coming in on Time By Sear. Mason Raven W, Ketter, 3nd Be, Rake Army School The guard had noticed a soldier pacing up and down the street for nearly half an hour and had begun to wonder just what was the matter. But it was on a public highway and the man hadn’t come within challenging distance, so the Just Like That By Coart, Hanoun Hauaraeer, 0.8. M,C. The captain was advanced by the sentry and stopped to ask for the sentry’s orders. Think- ing to catch the sentry off guard, he asked sud- denly, “What would you do if I should grab your rifle—just like this?” and he had wrenched the rifle out of the sentry’s hands. Without hesitation and before the officer could recover his poise, the sentry had in the twinkling of an eye recovered the rifle, replying non- chalantly, “I'd grab it back, sir—just like this.” guard nursed his curiosity. Finally the soldier deferentially approached. | “Halt! Who is there?”” challenged the guard. “Private Mulkern, Company D.” Drawn by Pyt. Orro Kit, Tn, Co. Headquarters Detention Camp, Camp Bowie, Ft. Worth, Texas The Most Popular Man in Camp. tended to the guard. guard, and it’s only 11.35, but I’m awfully tired. Don’t you suppose you could Jet me in now “ Advance and be recognized.” The soldier advanced with a slip of paper ex- This pass says till midnight,