Judge — December 28, 1918 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Grabbat Lucre, Esq. By Haxvey Peaxe Mbustrated by the Author IFTY-FOUR years old. Built upon the Squash architectural plan. Overhanging balcony on front facade. Purple complexion. No hair. Sats with his knife when dining privately. Worth $20,000,000. Manufacturer of near-wool overcoats for soldiers. Keen on culture. Says Irving Berlin is America’s greatest musician. Wants to know if Galli-Curci is a new cocktail or a brand of cigarettes. The Penalties of Peace HE principal drawback to early Peace resides in the fearful possibilities of the political campaign that may encompass Germany next summer. One can visualize the bill-boards and posters dominating every thoroughfare, as for example: Vote for Hohenzollern and Hindenburg, the People’s Choice, 100 per cent. democratic. Germany for the Germans. Vote early and often. Mr. “Uncle” N a castle bleak and chilly dwells the played out war lord, Billy; often when the nights are stilly one may hear him moan and whine; for his realm is torn asunder and his hopes are trampled under, and his throne has gone to thunder; surely there is cause for brine. Drawn by BE. Prous We Caw Ataost Hear Hi Murrer, Seatep py tue Creaxixe Suutter, Witt H Gurren, “Doxserwerter!” ano “Gee Wuiz!” Hohenzollern: Walt’s Weekly Message to Judge Privatery.” “Eats Witn His Kare Warn Dixinc Ludendorf and Hintze, 200 per cent. democratic. Protection and Prosperity and the Full Stein. Scheidemann and Ertzberger, the Equai Rights Candidates. Established 1918. Harden and Haase, the Old Reliable Tribunes of the People. Always the Same. by Walt Mason When he sits beside his casement in his sorrow and abasement, mourning over his effacement, what a throng of thoughts are his! We can almost hear him mutter, seated by the creaking shutter, with his dreams all in the gutter, “Donnerwetter!” and “Gee Whiz!” Once his vassals, at his bidding, whether serious or kidding, in a frantic haste went skidding, gliding on the polished floor; now in vain he is commanding, and the vassals, idly standing, say, ‘What bunk is this you're han ing? You’re not kaiser any more.” There is ncne to kneel and truckle, none to kiss his slipper-buckle when he taps with princely knuckle, on the table, fer a stein; all his fawning friends were quitters, false and vain and selfish critters; so poor Billy takes his bitters; yes, indeed, there’s cause for brine. He had hoped to rule the planet; dream majestic, as we scan it! But the Yankees came to can it, from their home across the sea; fate some irony evinces when we see this boss of princes dieting on prunes and quinces, pouring down cheap Holland tea. Once he sat enthroned in splendor, quite a credit to his gender, and his word was legal tender, and his smile was good as wheat; now we see him bent and broken with insulters round him croakin’, and his name’s a jest when spoken; cold as Greenland are his Let us take the lesson to us; may ambition never do us: may we be content, beshrew us, with the gifts the gods provide; be content with what’s accorded, though the part seem cheap and sordid; if the tail’s to us awarded, Iet us not demand the hide. comicbooks.com