Judge — December 21, 1918 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

epeaeam ARTA Way Back, But Not Sit Down A RIVATE WISE says: The reason they call it ‘Rest Camp’ is because they call on you to do the rest of the work you didn’t have time for at the front.” False Pretenses By Tacurerea D. Barmcax, c. a Sergt——Halt! You can’t go in there! Pet. Dooley—Why not, sir? Sergt—Because it's the general’s tent, you lobster. Pet. Dooley—Then what are they doing with “Private’’ over the door? Most Anything May Happen Once By Pvr. L. J. Henznena, Srd Co., N.C.0. T. 8. Inf. Rep. Camp, Camp McArthur, Tezas. Lieut. (to a newly transferred group)—How many of you have been out to the rifle range? (Some raised their hands). Lieut.—Did you have any accidents? Almost-a-Soldier—Y essir, I hit the target. In the Dark fy Senor. AurucaN. Leoxanp, 117 Ont. Depot Co, Comp Greene, The other night, one of the sentries on guard at the magazines imagined a shadow moving between the empty freight cars and lustily called “Halt! Who's there,” a couple of times. Not getting a reply he discharged the entire clip in his rifle, thus disturbing the peace of a colored sentry guarding the Q. M. corral a few hundred feet . away. This was Rastus’ first attempt at guard duty, and in the moonlight he looked absolutely pale. One of our non-coms hearing the shots walked over to the negro and asked him where the trouble was. “Ah don’t 'zecly know, Cap’n,” said the bru- nette, “but sombudy down yonder sho did scaire me stiff!” “Why don’t you call the corporal of the guard?” “ Ah don’t know where he am, Cap’n.” or Mars This Week’s $5 Prize Winner Bone-Dry Heroism By Lieor. Wauaw 2 Pay ag oon Hdgr. 7th P. A. Brigade, DURING the St Wikisostpetres as I approached the slope of one of our emplacements, 1 saw my sergeant stretched out bleeding and groaning. T put my arms around him and said: “Cheer uf, Sergeant, the stretchers are on their way. I want you to go back, recover and return, In the meantime I will recommend you for a Croix de Guerre.” At this he slightly moved his head, and his expres- sion changed as he said, “Sir, a quart of what?” The Liberator By Sea. Bur McIwrrex, U. 8 N. She (going through base hospital at Pelham Bay)—What happened to that poor sailor who has his arm in a sling? Wise Hospital Apprentice—Oh! he broke his arm trying to lift the quarantine off the camp. Drawn by Curroap 3. Dow, Skesum her (In the ‘Brig,) —What time is it, guard Selty —Watta you wanna know de time foh? You ain’t goin’ nowheres! He Wandered Lonely as a Cloud By Senor. J iH. Ws Co. B, Ce Institute Tr. 'y Senor. Jaups Pitot. Sarnavie te Tr. Da, THE O. D. chanced to pass a dejected look- ing private who was evidently going to Proceed without the customary salute. Pro voked, the officer called out: “Hey you! How about that salute?” “T can’t salute you, sir. I’m a prisoner, sir.” “A prisoner? Where’s your guard?” “TI don’t know, sir. That’s who I’m looking for.” Tongue Limitations By Court. T. W.'Cvires, Prov. Field Hospital, Co. C, Ft. Riley Kansas Officer (at medical inspection)—Say a-a-a-ah! Tony—No speak-a de English! Young Men Shall See Visions By Louis Buexxen, U. 8. N. T. S., Belboa Park, Cal. After reading the sign “Join the Navy and See the World” I walked into a recruiting office and enlisted. Two weeks later I was sent from Phils- delphia to California, and there I was put on mess and saw “china.” In Charge of Replacement Unit By Pvt. Hexnr 8. Fosten, Auz. Rem't. $33, Camp Johnston, Fa. 1st Soldier (on seeing a civilian approaching with a perambulator)—That man is of draft age, too. and Soldier—Yes, but I'll say he’s pushing his claim for exemption. Applied Logic By Prev, Kexwerm Herraten, 8th Ord. Supply Co. Rarien 0. A colored sergeant while drilling a squad of dusky-hued lads at Camp Jackson had one boy who could not or would not stand at attention. After exhausting his patience and vocabulary on the erratic one, he secured a two-by-four from a woodpile nearby and started toward the boy. “Man!” cried the lad. “Whut yo’ gwine do wid dat stick?” “Niggah, I’m either goin’ to stand you to at- tention, ar /ay you to attention!” comicbooks.com