Judge — December 14, 1918 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WORDS i The Kind She Wanted—SMrs. O'Toole (shopping)—I want to see some mirrors Floorwalker—Hand mirrors, madam? Mrs ; some that ye can er face in.— Boston Transcript see 5 Sometimes That—“ How do you pro: nounce ‘hauteur’? “Hot air, in some cases.”"—Boston Transcript Overworked—" Her favorite a is ‘lovely’. . what's the objection to that word? “It’s all right in its place, but she ap plies it indiscriminately to pigs and Birmingham Age-Herald. people “In this story of sea life it aptain turned on His Cue says that the arrogant his heel and walked aft.” “And what did the scorned young hero do? “Oh, he game. He walked after.” Baltimore American. Not When You Consider—* What a pugilist needs is vituperative power.” “Recuperative power, I suppose you mean. But you ain't so far wrong eyether.”"—Kansas City Journal. Never Rattled—Pro—Cholly Klumsy alwa, ys everything the longest way, regardless of the circumstances. Con—Yeh, he's one of the kind of people who would shout “ Assistance re- quired! Assistance required!” if he fel! in the water.—I/ ndianapolis Star Not His Version—“I've got a letter from Ned telling about the French people he is quartered with.” “What does he say about them?” “He says they are very hospitable and polite, but they don't seem to understand their own language.""—Baltimore Ameri- can. isest O *Un—Congrats on your engage f the Perkins twins! But how ne from the "Un—My cold bean, I never stander (London) WAYFARERS Not What It Was—“ This back-door begging ain’t what it wuz.” “No?” “No. With a garage on every lot, you don’t git no handout until you've washed a couple of wheels or pumped up a few tires.""—Louisville Courier-Journal, Didn't Look It—Red-Nosed Tramp Lady, kin I cut your grass for a meal? I'm a first-class lawn mower. Lady—Go away! You look more like an old rake.—Boston Transcript. What's the Difference?—“ You say you have trouble finding a place to sleep “Yes,” replied “But what's the d ried I couldn't sle ington gloomy stranger ence? I'm so wor . anyway." —MWash- ce Talk—Guest (in dining-car, angrily) —V » you call that a war portion of turkey? Waiter (in a whisper)—De comp'ny does, boss, but puss’n'ly Ah wouldn't hab de nerve to call it even a famine po'tion.—Buffalo Express Compulsory—“ What did the doctor advise to complete the cure of dyspepsia?” “A plain, light diet.” “Can you content yourself with such fare?” “LT must, for since paying his bill for medicine and attendance I find I ¢ afford anything else.” —Chicago Fifty-Fifty—Butcher—This pound of butter you sent me is three ounces short. Grocer—Well, I mislaid the pound weight, so I weighed it by the pound of chops you sent me yesterday.— Boston Transcript. A Good Feeder—AMother—Well, dear, did you see daddy feed the furnace? Five-Vear-Old (excitedly)—Oh, yes, mummy! And it was terrible hungry; he had to give it four helpings. —Buffalo ‘press His Position—* Uncle, why don’t you try these carrots? They are highly bene- And this spinach has medicinal qual- ities.” “Mebbe so, but I kin take medicine any time. When I’m at the dinner table I want to eat what I like.””—Louisville Courier-Journal. At Dinner—* Don’t serve my husband any pie, please.” “Why not?’ asked the astonished hostess. “He's a movie comedian. He knows table manners but you can’t trust him with pie.” —Kansas City Journal. comicbooks.com