Judge — December 7, 1918 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Teat A Soldier's Seven Ages J.D. MeM. Us HE day he left hon The first reveille in camp. The day he won his first promotion The time he went on furlough ight he sailed for “somewt morning he landed in France. day he killed his first German Naval Air Station, Miami, Fla re. The Wise Bird By Pvt, Acoent B. Caanvor, 28th Co. U.S. MC. Peking, China Officer of the Day (to sentry on post one rainy night)—Do you know your general orders? Sentry—No, sir. O. D.—Well, what do you know then? Sentry—1I know enough to stay in out of the rain, sir The Big Question By Prt. Jons Cuoremton, School of Aerial Reconma’ Field, Va Langley The men had been rather slow in getting into formations, so one evening, before chow, the sergeant gave his company a lengthy lecture, emphasizing the fact that in the future the men must be more prompt in falling in. He talked on one subject and then another. Other com- panies were marching to the mess hall, and his own men were becoming restless and impatient. Finally he wound up by asking “Now is everything clear? anyone want to ask a question?” There was a moment of silence, then a tall, lean Southerner in the rear rank opened his vocal apparatus, and yelled in an attenuated voice, “Yeh, when do we eat?” Does Forest Hospitality By Vor Josern Kowatans, Co. B, 125th Inf. A E. F.. Prance One morning our company was drill- ing, when a Boche scout plane flew over us. We usually go into the woods when they are first sighted, but this time the captain said, “Everybody down, and lie still." Then he added, “No use making a break for the woods. He'll see where we go and probably bomb us tonight.” ‘ An acting private in the rear rank replied: “Well, sir, let's run into some- body clse’s woods.” Draven by W. This Week's Prize Winner Rendezvous Krcrarnece, 8th Be. F Zachary Ky yet beat of beneath Ry Lawer, HAA 1 RD.Ca Camp Taylor passes and the loud the sleep rookie whose bunk was directly i grew werary of the nightly sh here?” and the answering “Fri One night, being rudely snatched from dre he called: “Say, for the love of Mik place you can find to meet your frien f home, The Nerve of Him Hy Ist Sor. O. P.W. Wantw ans, 358th Avro Sqn, Hemputead, N.Y. During a cross-country flight last Fourth of July we landed outside a small country town in Pennsylvania. A large crowd gathered about the machine and all kinds of questions were asked I did my best to satisfy. Some questions were reasonable and some the very opposite. One of the men, a raw-boned farmer, stepped up to me and asked “Do you use gasoline for that motor?” I replied coldly, “we burn soft coal.” On the Water NOTICE BEER AFTER Dec’ 1" mmr, U8. N “Gee War! Tuer Must Have Joven tue Navy” Deck Excelsior Ry Sear. T.N, Pocemas, U.S. M6 “HE shades of night were falling fast When to her spouse a housewife passed \ dish that he could plainly see Must be a wartime recipe (Excelsior!) She served it hot, all stewed in cream Like billows rose the clouds of steam But still he saw, to his dismay, Sad relics of last moving day: Excelsior! It tasted flat; he slowly rose And placed the dish ‘neath Fido's nose. That hungry, unsuspecting pup With wartime vigor ate it up Excelsior! Down in the cellar, cold and gray, Fed up but lifeless Fido lay A martyr to that foodless meal Composed of yellow, full-blown Excelsior! A Great Relief Ky Lerer, Wittraw H, Rovets, U. When an officer enters a room in which there are enlisted men, the first to observe him calls, “Attention!” a all stand at attention. Unless the officer has some- thing to say to the men, he usually com- mands, “As you wer All then re- sume their former activities. A new recruit had been sent down to headquarters to clean up the rooms. In the course of his work he blundered into a room in which he found a number of colonels and generals consulting. He de- cided he did not belong there and beat a hasty retreat. He felt, however,.that he had omitted something. So a moment later he stuck his head through the door and bellowed, “As you were!” Unconscious Advertising Ry Cater Yeowax Jawes A. Prrarstaicn, U.S, Neral Aviation Servire, B. EP. France Modest Young Lieutenant (reporting to C. O. after a thrilling raid into No Man's Land)—Captain, I wish to report Private Hicks’s conduct in the highest terms of praise. He is the bravest man in the world. He followed me every place I went. comicbooks.com