Judge, 1918-11-30 · page 12 of 32
Judge — November 30, 1918 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis: "Only Useful Gifts This Year" This page combines two related satirical pieces addressing WWI-era gift-giving. The top cartoon by Calvert Smith depicts a "Nice Old Lady" observing two soldiers on a park bench, commenting on their affection—likely mocking sentimentality about soldiers during wartime. The main article by Walt Mason argues for practical Christmas gifts rather than frivolous ones, reflecting wartime austerity. Mason sarcastically recommends "useful" items: a fly swatter instead of a doll for his daughter, a rake and hoe instead of a toy saber for his son, a mop and broom instead of roses for his wife. The humor lies in the pretense that utilitarian household tools constitute meaningful gifts—he acknowledges recipients will curse him ("make my bosom bleed") while he maintains moral superiority about "good horse sense." This reflects early-WWI American values: sacrifice, rejecting frivolity, and celebrating practicality as patriotic duty. The satire gently mocks those who use wartime constraints to justify giving disappointing presents.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
——— Drown by Carvent Surrn Nice Old Lady—It Do Beat Att How Arrectionate Tnese Sovpiers Be! Only Useful Gifts This Year By Wart Mason Uncle Walt’s Weekly Message to Juoce T’S time to do our shopping early, if we know how to raise the price; for winter, boisterous and burly, will soon be putting up the ice. The Christmas bells will soon be ringing, and idiots will be in view, from glad and beaming faces springing the war cry, “Christmas box on you!” Time flies so fast that I'm disgusted; unwearied on its path it drifts; it seems two weeks since | went busted providing friends with Christmas. gifts. It seems two weeks since I wentdrilling around the town, from store to store, where Christmas shoppers, madly milling, were blowing in their hard- earned ore. It seems two weeks, but, oh, my read- ers, eleven months have whizzed away; and now they’re bringing in the cedars to boost another Christmas day. Traditions and old customs beckon, for Christmas shopping there’s no cure; we'll have to blow ourselves, ] reckon, though war has made us beastly poor. But let us always in our buying choose useful gifts for one and all; it’s vain to send the money flying for hobby horse and squeaking doll. Drown by BE. Puowns “For Att My Fotxs I’ Wisety Cnoosinc tne Sort or Girts Tury Reatty Nerp.” Evangeline, my little daughter, will get no doll with china eyes; but she will get a handsome swatter, with which next year she'll soak the flies. My little James, who'd like a saber, will get a nice new rake and hoe, so in the garden he may labor, and make a lot of rhubarb grow. My wife in other years expected a sheaf of roses all in bloom; this year for her I have selected a very useful mop and broom. For all my folks I’m wisely choosing the sort of gifts they really need; their language, while those gifts they're using, I fear may make my bosom bleed; but one must rise serene, un- daunted, above the wail- ings and the brine; I know the. kind of stuff that’s wanted in this palatial home of mine. The wind is keen, its tone is surly, I fear old winter’s at the door; we'll have to do our shopping early, and chase around from store td store. And let us do our shopping sanely, give people junk that they detest, or we have done our buying vainly and made of good horse sense a jest. comicbooks.com