Judge, 1918-11-23 · page 9 of 32
Judge — November 23, 1918 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Kitchenette Cow" and Related Judge Satire This page satirizes urban living conditions and economic anxieties of the early 20th century. "The Kitchenette Cow" mocks the cramped apartments ("kitchenettes") where poor urbanites lived, imagining a miniature cow that survives on garbage (flagstones, coal ashes, tin) and lives on a fire escape—a darkly comic solution to expensive milk and high living costs. The other pieces continue this theme: "Lost Postage Both Ways" jokes about penny-pinching when dealing with rare coin dealers; "A Surprise for Him" satirizes wives' financial control; and "When the Sawdust's on the Punkin" puns on cheap, low-quality lunch-room food disguised as traditional fare. Together, these pieces reflect Judge's satirical commentary on working-class economic struggles, inflation, and the gap between idealized American life and gritty urban reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Kitchenette Cow By Ternett Love Houupay cla n has been granted to the three fect in height.) ws Item.—An American he r cow, which, when full ¢r ROM bleak foreign hills a creature that fills F A need on the urbanite’s list Has landed, they say, to show him the way ‘The milkmen can all be dismissed The kitchenette cow's a treasure, I trow, She measures three feet by the tape From hill-climbing rough she’s hardy and tough, Her stable is the fire-escape. so I've understood— Her habits are good With appetite much like a goat's; She dines on flagstones, coal ashes and bones; On tin and shoe leather she dotes, Hope isn’t yet lost, and living’s high cost I shan’t let it frighten me now When milk takes a leap, no tear shall I weep, But purchase a kitchenette cow. Their Handicap “One of them there airplanes passed over my place tuther day,” admitted Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “It was so low down that the racket of its engine sounded like a team of mules running away with a mowing machine. But none of my folks knowed anything about it till some fel- ler told us afterwards. You sce, we'd been sorter aguering for several days and had taken right smart of quinine, and while we heered the uproar we nacherly thought it was all in our own heads.” A Surprise for Him “ My husband is going to give me a lot of things for Christ- mas. “How do you know?” “I’ve bought most of them already.” Drown by Jous Heev, Jn Littte Exten Insists on Doinc Her Birt Lost Postage Both Ways “Did you write to those rare coin people about your half dollar?” “1 did.” “And what did they say it was worth?” aid it was worth half a dollar and I was glad to learn that, as I had already lost six cents in the transaction.” Wuewn tHe Sawpust’s ox THE PuNKIN AND THE SuGar’s 1n Your Eye (Poetry by Orson Lo Nluse inspiration by Orson Lowell, Orron Lowell) Oft at the lunch-rooms where I hie To get myself a hunk Of their “old-fashioned punkin pie” The accent’s on the punk. comicbooks.com