Judge — November 23, 1918 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

\. Digest of the Wo COMEBACKS Paid in Full—Every time Hallowe'en comes ‘round, folks down Columbiana way like to tell about the prank three young men once played on an old couple in the outskirts of the town Three days after Hallowe'en the old man met one of the perpetrators and said to him: “ John, you know Iam not very strong any more. Now, some of the boys took my wagon and put it ‘way down there in the swamp. Will you be kind enough to get it out for me?” And John, like the decent chap he was, worked like a beaver until he had brought back the wagon. The next day another of the trio was met by the old man, who said: “Now, Joe, you know me and the old la dy ain’t as strong as we used to be. Some of the boys played a trick on us and put ourfront gate up in that talltree. Willyou be good enough to get it down for me?” The third member of the trio was later accosted by the old man, and persuaded to place into position a shed that had required the efforts of the three to up set. It was a hard job, but he finally succeeded in accomplishing it When the three young men met, not afterward, one observed: That was sure some fun we had with old Uriah Umson and his wife.” “Yes,”" one of the others said, “but doggone it, I had to put that wagon back all by myself.” “And Thad toget that front gate down from the tree.” “And Thad to fix that shed up again.” “Tt seems,” said the first speaker, “that the Umsons have not only paid us back in our own coin, but have given it to us just about lon, three to one.”"— Youngstown - Tele- “Kamarad, pa. gram. The Way We Cannonize Him.—Bystandrr (London). Only Make Believe—Mrs. Bacon I sce in a new drama just produced a young man falls in love with his mother- in-law. Mr. Bacon—But, you must remember dear, the young man was only acting. Yonkers Statesman. An Undefined Expression — “Is your place within walking distance of the cars?” “I dunno,” answered Farmer Corn- tossel. “How far kin you walk?”— Washington Star. The Yellow Warbler fous janterai la Marrillaise!” “Kamerad, spare me and I'll sing you the Marscillaise!"—La Baionnetie (Paris). WAYFARERS | The Wrong Slogan—* Your money or your li id the highwayman “Mister,” said the facetious victim. you've got the wrong slogan. What you ought to say is ‘work or fight.’ "—De- troit Free Press The Hint—*Much bothered with tramps out your way?” “Twas until I tacked up a sign on my ‘Beware the dog,’ I suppose.” “Oh, no. Simply ‘Farm help wanted.” ” Boston Transcript Heard in Court—Judge—Six months in jail with hard labor. Hobo- judge—can't yer double de time an’ cut out de labor?—Boston Transcript. Nuff Ced—"You say you have trouble finding a place to sleep?” “Yes,” replied the gloomy. stranger. “But what's the difference? I’m so wor- ried I couldn't sleep, anyway.""—Wash- ington Star. . Sad Awakening—The Suffragist—Tell me, my good man, would you go to jail for a principle? The Hobo—I once tried it, lady, but de experiment was unsuccessful. De jailer made me work.—Buffalo Express. Foresight—‘So you're workin’ at last,” said Mean- dering Mike. “You bet!” re- sponded Plodding Pete. “I'm goin’ to work while de workin’s good an’ not take any need- less chances on havin’ a Prussian boss at some future time.” — Washing- ton Star. comicbooks.com