Judge — November 2, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

—- % Sn SY ES OE ee eee oe, eee eS ee AT iy | MATRIMONY |} Not Always—‘“I notice your husband has his hammer out on all occasions.” “Oh, no. Not when it is time to put down the carpets." —Baltimore American Not His Function—"I want to know,” said the grim-faced woman, “how much money my husband drew out of the bank last week.”” “I cannot give you that information, . the man in the cage. You're the paying teller, aren't you?” “Yes, but I'm not the telling payer.” —Boston Transcript. His Guess—Mrs. Newlywed studied at a cookery class with such good effect that in due course she carried off a diploma. “T've won such a lovely diploma,” she said to her husband one evening. “It's on sheepskin parchment within a big red De Krooxrrins—Doe nw " Nev of je mij er wit Prince Rupprecht and Wilhelm, Jr., Ausgebounced seal. And just in honor of the occasion I cooked the dish you're eating now. It’s my own idea entirely. guess what it is!”” ewlywed went on with his meal in ce fora moment. Then he looked up with a wry grin “T don’t know, I’m sure,”” he hesitatingly “Is it—er—is it diploma?”"—London Tit-Bits Ww, just you The Man of the House—‘ She scems to be the man of the family.” “Yes. Some day I expect to hear of her buying an electric automobile for her husband.""—Detroit Free Press. Solomon's Reputation—" How did Solomon get his great reputation for wis dom?” queried Mr. Meekton’s wife. “Oh, I am sure, Henrietta, it was not through anything he thought up for himself. You know he had a great many wives and he probably ligtened very carefully to all their advice.”—Washing ton Star. meten hebt! Lk ben ind, he didn’t throw me out; I left of my own accord.—De A German Geography Lesson Hi! Who tilted the map?—Erening New (London). | AMBITION | gresumnennan | Liable to Start Any Time—/Profes sor’s Wife—My husband is, as usual, in his laboratory conducting chemical ex periments. The professor expects to go down to posterity. (From the labora tory.) Ber-r-r! Bang! Caller (startled)—I hope the professor hasn't gone.— Boston Transcript. What He Learned—W. B. Trites was knocking the modern drama *Lonce wrote a play myself,” he said * After two years’ work on it, I submitted it to a manager. The manager said it was full of promise, but totally lack technique. He advised me to visit the theater assiduously for a month or two and learn all I could. v1 ran across him a month later in udway Well, my boy,’ he said, ‘have you been studying the theater as [ advised?’ “*Yes,’ said I, ‘I have.” “*Learnt anything?’ he asked. Well,’ Iss ‘I’ve learnt one thing.” ood!” said the mans ‘What's that?" ““T've learnt,’ [T said, ‘that I'm the only man alive who isn’t able to get a poor play put on.’ ""—Detroit Free Press about Might Smash Something—“ Young Grabcoin took up the law and_ then dropped it.” “Well?” “Then he took up medicine and dropped that.” “What does he think of doing now?" “ He’s going into the crockery business I hope he doesn’t drop that.” —Birming- ham Age-Herald. comicbooks.com