Judge, 1918-10-26 · page 12 of 32
Judge — October 26, 1918 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Political Satire Analysis This page contains WWI-era satire mocking German militarism and U-boat warfare. The main piece, "If Sir Joseph Porter Had Been a Hun," parodies Gilbert and Sullivan's *HMS Pinafore*. A German U-boat captain boasts in broken English that he rose through cruelty, theft, murder, and cowardice—satirizing how the German military system allegedly rewarded brutality over merit. The poem suggests German officers achieved rank through immorality rather than ability. The twelve comic panels below depict increasingly violent "solutions" to ending the war, culminating in absurd brutality—mocking German militarism as barbaric and unthinking. Two lighter pieces appear on the right: a joke about a minister rehearsing sermons, and a humorous story about a gambling man's "business training" donating generously to church collections like betting antes. The overall message: Germany's military culture is morally corrupt and worthy of ridicule.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
If Sir Joseph Porter Had Been a Hun By Percy Waxaas (With humble apologies to Gilbert and Sullisan) EN I vos a poy I vent to V school Und ‘garefully followed out der Cherman rule; I qvickly learned to lie and steal Und ven my pals vos naughty I vos first to squeal IT snitched und sneaked und got so mean Dot now I am der Gaptain of de Unis. As I grew up I got much vorse —_ At tvelf I killed a baby und [ prewn by ALB. Wauxen maimed his nurse. I poisoned all der gripples in our neighborhood By mixing Prussic acid mit dei breakfast food I tortured der blind mit a choy serene Und now I am der Gaptain of der U-15. I grafted so hard a chob to get Dot I licked der boots of efery von I met I fawned und slinked so horribly Dey gave me a post in der Cherman navee I vos der biggest schwein dey had efer seen, So now Tam der Gaptain cf der U-t5 Sue Has Just Extustep axp Has Beex Cosmtssioxen a Boarsaan’s Mate sy Caartais Buspxins You Chermans all, whoefer you may be, If you vant to rise to der top of der dree, Be cold und cruel und merciless, Und nefer help a vessel ven she’s in distress. Den if you're a schwein for a murder keen You may begome der Gaptain of der U-ts. Extemporaneous “What's all that noise over at the minister's house? “Oh, he’s memorizing his ser- mon; he always has to practise what he preaches His Businesslike Way “Ah, Brudder Goat!” saluted good old Parson Bagster, upon meeting Goat Simmons, the gambling man, the other day. “Lemme ‘terrygate yo’: How is it, sah, dat whilst yo’ don’t come to church very often, when yo’ does yo’ allus draps into de c'lection at least haffer dollar, when muh flock dat ‘tends reg'lar seldom slips in mo’ dan a nickel apiece, if dey does dat much, when de hat circumambulates round?” “Uh—well, Pahson, dat’s uh—kase of muh business trainin’, I reckon,” was the reply. “I allus feels dat I’s got to chip in muh ante if I sets in de game.” ne See Drsen by W.K. S18 Now, Iss t Tuat Just tue Dartincest ‘Way to Exp tne War! So Ipearistic—anp Unrinisnen. comicbooks.com