Judge — October 12, 1918 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Teat and Deck Wheezas tilitagy Juvce pays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted for publication, and each <reek $5 is avarded for the best original joke received an Neval Support Columns Avwney, Co. E17, 156th Depot Bri Camp Jorkoon, 8. ¢ LE Bess, aged six, while visiting at the + training camp with her mother, spied a pair of cuff-leggings on the washline. Surprised, she exclaimed: “Mama, do the soldiers wear corsets, too: Headquarters for Gen. Pressing Ry Booren Locms Ware, tt Ord, Supply Co., Camp Rantan, NJ. A new man in camp asked another soldier what the name of that camp was. Camp Raritan,” was the reply “Ain't it got another name?” “Not that I know of.” “Well,” said the new man, with a puzzled look, “I was just walking across the parade grounds and I saw a sign, ‘Camp Tailor.’ ” Watch Him Bite Scuwrsio, 619th Aero Seda, Aireraft Produce tion Depot, Detroit, Mich A rookie on guard for the first time was paid the usual visit by the Officer of the Day. O. D.—Do you know your general orders? Rook: ‘ope. O. D.—What are your special orders? Rookie—Haven’t any. O. D.—Do you mean to stand there and tell me the sentry you relieved did not tell you anything? Rookie—Oh, yes. He said: “Watch out for the O. D. He's a crab.” Ry Pvt. Ti The High-Hearted Hero Ry Prt, Dovotas Hepsox, First Marine Aviation Force, Miami, "a, As a draft contingent of farm lads was leaving a small city in the Middle West, the patriotic women of the town distributed trench mirrors among the boys. One of them, giving a lad a mirror, said: “Wear this metal mirror over your heart. It will protect you from the bullets.” “If I was going to wear it over my heart,” replied the youth, “I would have to hang it on my collar button.” Literal Obedience Ay Wri HK 25th Inf, Schofield Bari 2 A Portuguese lad doing his first guard was being instructed by the corporal of his relief how to halt a person approaching his post. Corporal—Now when you see or hear someone coming, holler HALT three times and then fire. Got that? The lad said he understood and was then posted. A short time later the corporal was aroused by hearing: Halt three times! bang! bang! Drawn by H. fi p The Putteehound Drawn by Pvt. Mice Gaswn, Co. P, 6ith Infantry, AE. F ‘An easy way to get ‘em on. This Week’s $5.00 Prize Winner Reunited By Senor, W. Werrsnins, It Depot Ba., 2nd Central Ontaro wit, Niagara Camp, Tit gerscant had been working hard 0 get the awkward squad into shape, with very poor results; so after trying coerything he knew, he yelled: Squad, halt! Stand easy! Now, boys, I’m going to tell you a story. When I was a little tot, mother bought me a bax of wooden soldiers, which I happened to lose while moving a few days after, and I cried and cried, Nothing would pacify me until mether said: “Don't cry, son, you'll find them some day.’ Ard believe me, I'ce found "em! Sew It Sears By Court. RL. MeKeveray, Journal of the United Stotes Artil- ery, Fort Monroe, Va. Captain Hobson (angrily indicating torn place in. Private Hull’s blouse)—Don’t you know that a stitch in time saves nine? What have you to in your defense? Private Hull—Sir, it’s never too late to mend. Official Dispatch Resartt, Comping B, 26th, Ba. TC mmerall, Tabyhanna, Penna. Private Spider was awarded the pumpkin seed cross for repairing entanglements under fire. Alarming Just the Same By Pvt. Eoweo P. Hix, Co, Mf, Su8th Inf, A.B. B., Proe A private acting as a kitchen police near a front line trench put on his gas mask. His non- commissioned officer came along and, telling him to take off his mask, explained: “That ain’t gas you smell; that’s what you're goin’ to get for dinner.” Thorough Thoughtlessness By Waurase H. Wanwes, U.S. 8 \ sailor who was being reprimanded by an offcer started to defend himself. “But I thought, sir—” “You are not supposed to think.” About a week later the same offcer sent this mn ashore to get him some cigarette papers and, as he did not have any change, he gave him a twenty dollar bill. The man came staggering back with a case on his shoulder. “What ha ou got there?” asked the officer. “ Cigarette papers,” came the reply. “I did not tell you to get a case.” “You didn’t say how many, sir. You gave me the bill and said, ‘Get me some cigarette papers.’ “What do you think I want with twenty dol lars’ worth of cigarette papers?” “Tam not supposed to think, sir.” The Light That Fooled Ry Pavers H. Keane, U, 8.8.8.0. No. 65 The leckout had been given orders to keep 2 starp watch for any lights. As we were just akeut twenty miles from port and it was a bit hazy the Officer of the Deck put on running lights. uddenly a hail came from the crow’s nest: Light ahead, sir!” “Where away?” shouted the O. D. “Dead ahead,” came the reply. The O. D. grabbed his glasses and not finding the light, ran from the port to starboard side trying to pick it up. Not seeing it, he yelled up again: “Wohere’s that light now?” “Dead ahead, sir.” Calling to the Quartermaster |o swing the boat around, he aske! once more, “Where is the light now?” ead ahead.” “Come down here and show i me,” cried the O. D. getting exc Down came the man from 1! crow’s nest and pointed out a light “You fool, that’s our own mas light.” comicbooks.com