Judge — October 5, 1918 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Harris ey Hull double, 10n, his For noble y dame Ositive- apers inish Lures that ll of October 5, 1918 The Notion Counter By Dovetas Matiocn OME. fellows are afraid that we S wouldn’t know about them if they didn’t talk about themselves, and if they didn’t there are a lot of things we wouldn't. When a person gets so he can have his picture taken by a movie operator and not grin, he has grown too blasé for this world. A man is foolish to try to love two women at the same time. Doesn't the Bible say no man can serve two masters? In Oconomowoc, Wis., you just have to go downtown to fi In Oconomowoc a fishing trip isn’t much of an alibi. I saw a prize bull the other day that cost $106,000, but some of Kaiser Bill’s have been even more expensive. As for the front porch, we must say that the jackie is a great improvement over the Johnny. There is a lot of kindness in this world that is just as welcome as a barber shop porter’s. Kaiser Bill thought he was going to EGYPTIAN SETS | “The Utmost in Plan End. Sp Reople of culture and | refinement invari PREFER_ Deities to any other Ggarette 30¢ wees Mars of te tse! Gnd Tete run the world, but all he will do some day is to run. It would take a lot of asylums to hold the people who are crazy about them- selves. The kaiser has found that there is such a thing as saying boo until nobody jumps. There are a lot of separated married couples still living together. There are three kinds of bills we | especially dislike—gas, congressional and Kaiser. Many a business founded by the early settlers has been ruined by the late ones. Love makes the world go ‘round; it certainly doesn’t make it go square. We must find our happiness in what we have and not in what we hope for. Tipping your hat isn’t hard, it’s tipping the hatboy that hurts. We have only two meals a day at our house now—corn- and oat-. The way to get along with a woman is to let her have hers. Uncle Sam is at bat; let’s not call any strikes on him. Some people talk about love as if it were something you could operate with a lever. Little troubles to some people are like cinders to the eye. A Wall Torn Down By Tuomas Evcrrow HE washerwoman came with the laundry and her little girl. While Mary was sorting the laundry, the litdl@ girl and I looked at each other very shyly. The little girl had strange blue eyes which were rather dead. She looked at me with her dead eyes and we both were very shy. ‘The shyness became unbearable. “She thinks I am so old and grown up,” I reflected. “That is why she is so shy.” But I did not know why I, a grown man, should feel so shy of the washerwoman’s little girl. I said it was a warm night, and had she come far, but the little girl only became the shyer. =A seo Ne, PAY AS YOU CAN for any Diamond or ether article you ask us to ship to you. Send no money. Your credit is good. We trust you for anything you waat. LYON DIAMONDS } are the BEST QUALITY — perfect cut and ' 8% Yearly Dividend Offer yearly increase in value on all exchanges. guarantee you \, Buy Now at Low Price: in one-fifth of the purchase price pay a crac ust yeu are Convinced ‘sol explain how to build our stock 1s a GEM of GEMS. Every Diamond is accompanied by a binding guarantee covering value and quality. More than We Shipments made without ex You examine carefully vou. isdactory. Pay only Ifuanaatislactory. Doo" [ON DIAMONDS. “Ane ‘SuPERION vali joa for the future. TODAY for Free C: JM LYON & CO THarden ‘ane, New rk Every Diamond in ‘Yoo get atmolute protection. | You incur no | Then I took the little girl into the kitchen. I gave her one of Mary’s peaches. I had no peaches of my own to give her, sol gave her a dime. “Buy some candy,” I said, but she was too shy to answer. Presently the washerwoman and_ her little girl went away. I was leaning over the porch rail, and I heard the shy little girl speak to her mother. “That homely-looking guy with the big feet gave me a Canadian dime,” she said I did not feel shy any longer. Happy School Days By Teo Rowtnson F schoolboys, those I pity most Are they who, these fine days, must hammer Away at that ungodly Known wittily as “ Who, when they learn “sit, sat and set, And almost grasp “freeze, froze and frozen,” Are spanked for saying “‘hit, hat, het,” And fired for writing “squeeze, squoze, squozen.” I find—that is to say, I've found That when one knows k, sank and sunken,” He soon is strenuously remound He mustn't say “blink, blank and blunken.”” And if it seems that he has ught From words one speaks as they are spoken That what he thought was “wink, wank, wougbt,”” He'll squeak as ne'er before he’s squoken! Of all the men we should despise, I rise, if no one else has risen, To say that father of all li The grammar man, should be despisen! I'd love to sec the man who hatched These rules most vigorously booted Nay, I should like to see him catched And stood against the wall and skooted! comicbooks.com