Judge — September 14, 1918 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

September 14, 1918 Drown by Cant Axpensox s gets his comfy outfit in the middle of the hot spell The Compassionate Hippo By Cyn B. Ecax H HH, never start a fuss, With a Hippopotamus, Or you'll find very shortly—give him cause— That the Hippo's not a Cuss Who will arbitrate a Muss When hankering to exercise his jaws. Once while hunting on the Niger For a tiny, tawny tiger, Asa pet for my darling Molly Carr, IT espied in a wady —In a puddle, cool and shady— A Hipp with his Hippopota—Ma ‘They were lapping up the water With a noise they hadn't oughta, Jefiance of all Table Etiquette- “DOING HER BIT a perhaps reminds you of a similar experience you ie had while rhythmic strains of music filled the air. Just as it appeared on the cover of a recent issue of JUDGE, this picture has been reproduced, in full colors, and mounted onaheavy mat, 11x14, ready for framing. We will send it, postage free, for twenty-five cents cash of stamps. JUDGE, Art Print Dept. 225 Filth Avenue, New York (ity “MADE AT al GARS So I took my riding whip-Oh! And I nudged the Baby Hippo Lest he his Manners Potative forget. Oh My! but it was rummy To see the way his Tummy Quivered with emotion in the breeze: But when he showed his Molars— Ah! then began my Dolors, And I sought a safe asylum in the trees. Through the tangled jungle’s mazes With the “movie” specd that dazes, A virgin trail I blazed and fled afar— But the little Hippo caught me; In his cruel jaws he brought me To his faithful, hungry Hippopota—Ma. “Oh, Ma, let’s to our Muttons! “See—all food except the Buttons! “Oh Ma, I've brought a lovely, luscious feast!” But his Hippopotamamma Set a Yama—Yama That would rend the heart and soui of man or beast And a tear stood in her optic, And in speech that would be Coptic To a Novice at the Lingo of the Wild, She cried: “Oh, darling Potty! “Drop the gent, or I'll go Dotty: “What if he be some other mother’s chil So the little Hipp relenting, Paused at first—then gently denting My vermiform appendix—let me go: And now whene’er I travel, I no longer stop to Cavil At the Messy Manners Hippobabies show. Professional Solicitude An item in the bill of Mr. Great Guns, the eminent lawy Sept. 6th. Dreamed about your case. $50.00. Velvet be Grip sleeps iat quality is rotlect ery. our first consider. For complete ation in maki Says Earle E. Wurme: By A. Wattex Urtixe MAN who itches to spend half an hour fighting wouldn't spend five minutes helping his other half. When rd sold two yarns I felt like a second-story man until the third was accepted. Pretty girls don’t have to be told they are. I have a most eccentric friend: he ad- mits other men have colds sometimes. Some music lovers don’t sound so. We cherish old jokes. That’s why we let ’em wear new clothes. If you can’t, you want to. Some turn their heads to sce; not to. Golfers and lovers like to make a near approach. I'd rather get a letter than write one. A girl who knows it, never “noes” it. Our second thoughts are usually some one else’s first. We don’t burn our candles at both ends nowadays. A woman will criticize the morals of a magazine, and buy it “so as to have it around as evidence in case any one ever says anything about it.” Temperament is often temper. If I wasn’t what I am I'd like to be what I am. To me I’m worth what I get, but am I to the boss? Our light bills are never light. When the children are coming, the youngest is always called The Last. If I had to choose between beating rugs and pushing a lawn mower I'd play golf. others comicbooks.com