Judge — August 31, 1918 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

& 3 NGS j_ YOUNG THI One Furnished—“I'd kiss you if I had a reasonable excuse.” “The fami in the flat above is named Mistletoe, coyly responded the girl—Kaensas City Journal. Thrust and Parry—Pangs of jealousy were in Miss Coldfoot’s heart when she heard that her late admirer had been ac- cepted by Miss Lovebird, and when she happened to run across her in the bargain rush could not resist giving a thrust “I hear you've accepted Jack,” she gushed. ‘I suppose he never told you he once proposed to me.” “No,” answered Jack’s fiancée. “He once told me that there were a lot of things in his life he was ashamed of, but I didn’t ask him what they were.” Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Called Back—* No,” said she only be a sister to you.” “Very well,” said he. ing. I had different answer “Tecan “T must be go- Ne Gratitude good that I Mucha (Mo. So Appropriate—First Girl—Do you know, I heard that Mamie Brown's en- gagement ring is paste. Second Girl—How perfectly lovely and appropriate! You know her fiancé is a paper-hanger.— Boston Transcript. Gone, but Not Forgotten | LAW and LAWYERS! High Stakes—Judge—And so you sac- rificed name, honor, future, and freedom for the sake of two miserable shillings? Thief—\ did, your worship. That's a there was in the safe.—London Ap Time!—Attorneys for the prosecution and defence had been allowed, by mutual consent, fifteen minutes each to argue a certain case. Counsel for the defense began his argu- ment with an allusion to the old swim- ming pool of his boyhood days. He told in flowery oratory of the balmy air, the singing birds, the joy of youth, the de- lights of the cool water—and in the midst of it he was interrupted by the drawling voice of the judge. “Come out, sir,” he said, “and put on your clothes. Your fifteen minutes are up!"—The Green Bag As the Crow Flies—The day was drawing to a close. Judge, jurors, nesses, and law; were growing weary Counsel for the prose you, but—well, good- night!”” “George!” tered, as he out into the “George!” “What is asked, very crossly. “Aren't you going to kiss your sister good-night ?”—Stray Stories. she fal- started night. it?” he Felicia Fewclothes’ Philosophy— Brothers are queer beasts. A bathing suit which they say is Too Daring and Positively Shameless on their own Sister be- comes, on some other man’s Sister, a Stun- ning Outfit and a Hum Dinger.—Detroit. News. jeve me, my dear lad; brance of this delightful eve chére madame, que jemporte un excellent souvenir de cette charmante soirée.” I am carrying away with me a most precious remem- g."—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). cution was cross-exam- ining the defendant. ixactly how far is i , at length. “or some time Paddy stood thinking, then “About four miles as the cry flows,” came the answer. “You mean ‘as the flow cries!’” corrected the man of law. The judge leaned for- ward. “No,” he re- marked, suavely, “he means ‘as the fly crows. And they all looked at one another, feeling that something was wrong somewhere. — Bayside Budget. A Digest of the Worldir Humor | The Wittiest Thoughts from the Prightest Minds comicbooks.com