Judge — July 27, 1918 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOTEL SAN REMO Central Park West, 74th and 75th Streets NEW YORK Central Park's most picturesque lake. the Spring and Summer months Appe . mothers and children. Rooms and Bath—$2.50 per day and upwards. Parlor, bedroom and bath $4.00 per day and upwards. SPECIAL WEEKLY RATI Please Write for Illustrated Booklet Ownership Management—EDMUND M. BRE: REAU ROMEIKE?’S [RES CUPPING We will send you all newspa; clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any ject on which you may want to be “up-to-date.” per and penodical of importance in the United Evfope is searched. Terms $5.00 per 100 notices HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., New York WRITE THE WORDS FOR A SONG We wnte music and assist in securing publisher's ac- ceptance. Submit poems on war, love or any subject. CHESTER MUSIC COMPANY ‘598 South Osarborn St., Suite 253, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Overlook: See? Mac—A man fell from a six-story window yesterday and didn’t get hurt. Duff—What is he, an aviator? Mac—No. But you see he had on a light fall suit. Orange Peel. Starvation Diet First Moth—Why so thin and emaciated this spring, brother? Second Ditto—I was shut up all winter with a young lady’s bathing suit. Not another bite to eat in the closet!—Punch Bowt, Page Him! Encina—That guy looks as if he stepped out of a novel. . Row—Yes; he’s from our chapter. rab, had just Cha par- Superfluous Rastus—Dis yeah’s a bahrometeh, Mandy. Mandy—Wha's that foh? Rastus—To tel when it’s going tuh rain. Mandy—Niggeh, wha's your rheumatism foh, anyway?—Panther. Logical She—I never could see why they call a boat “he” He—Evidently Widow. you never tried to steer one. ate Peat—When I took my hat to be cleaned the man put it on a wooden block. Sergeant Empey—Isn’t that what it is usually on?—Yale Record. aS Withihe Gllege Wits ; Irrepressible, Joyous, Ss The Date “What's the date of today?” “The fifteenth.” “Of this month?”— Lampoon. Of Course Prof—What part of history is the hardest? Stude—The stone age: I suppose.—Awgwan. De Lyle “She's something of a blue-stocking.” “Clarence, you tainly are observing.” — Gargoyle. cer- Practice He (who has taken French A)—Ah! je t’ado- + rre—Think « ‘Sig-Awishuiiiyours 954 Some self; you left it open!— Pierrot—Yes. Irony of Fate Sibley, “20—I understand that the next draft will be made entir y machine Sibley, ’13—Sort of a mechanica eh?—Widow. At the Zoo First Student—'Sneagle. Second Student—'Snot an eagle. ‘Snork. First Student—Snot a Snork. ’Snowl. Second Student ther, ‘snostrich. gwan. ‘snei- Then When you've bats in your belfry that flut, When your compre- drawing, of me as the sturdy oak, and g vine, my sweet But be a live oak, dear!— rrespousible On the Naval Cruise “Well, what do you want?” “Please, suh, a little green oil for the star- board light.”—Lampoon. Just Now and Then I met her, you know no matter how And kissed her, [ think—no matter when. You see it doesn’t mat- ter now! In fact, it didn’t mat- ter then At a dance or dinner or some such thing, We met—and I guess [ gave her a ring, And kissed her, I think or made a bow, And there I “engaged again!” Oh, well, it doesn’t mat- tre now, In fact, it didn’t mat- ter then.—Awguwan, was And She's a Diver, Too the hospital?” “Do you know why Geraldine had to go to “Yes; she bragged that she could hold her | breath while a couple of movie-players were nez-vous rope is cut, When there’s nobody home In the top of your Yes? dome— Yes, and when Then your head’s not a head; a nut. —Awgwan. for him.—Purple Smooth He stole a kiss And the angry miss Exclaimed “I like your cheek.” “That's good,” said he, “T shave you see, Each morning of the week.” —Pelican, bad, to bad. He started studying Japanese so he could understand military commands English, you know What drove him insane? he found they were really the shock was to much kissing, and of course she failed.” —Gargoyle. Caught With the Goods The Honorable — My boy, do you realize how great is the solemnity of an oath, before you com- mit yourself ? The Boy—Why—why yes, sir. I caddied for you last Sunday.— Widow. For His Country “And what have you done for your country, my man?” “ Kept out of the army so I wouldn’t be takin’ the place of a man who was a better fighter than Tam.”’—Jack O' Lantern, tuenrdey Bern Gases comicbooks.com