Judge — July 27, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE Kaiser has six stalwart sons, all old | enough to carry guns. Six krautfed sons | the Kaiser owns, they’re youths of brawn and heavy bones, and they The Six Sons: 46y Walt Mason Uncle Walt's Exclusive Weekly Message to Judge ‘The manhood of the stricken land is lying dead The farmers, in the coming years, their brindled steers, to lay a furrow ’mid the stones, will plow to be. in mud and sand. who push along might ply the sword or lance among [| theotherboysin France. They might go forth where bullets soar,and slosh | around a while in gore, acquiring honorable scars to show that they stand up for Mars. But do we hear of Wilhelm’s sons gefighting with the other Huns? We're killing Prussians every- | where; we bag them in the sunlit air; we pot them in the sobbing sea; we prod them with the snick- ersnee. We pile up Prussians, cord on cord, in ricks and ranks, upon the sward; we plant their bodies, tons on tons, but no one’s planted Wil- helm’s sons. These angel, roly-poly boys remain afar from battle noise; they do not face the leaden storms; they’re busy changing uniforms. | In Germany there is no home } that has no crape upon its dome. In every hut and castle there, there is at least one vacant chair. Some fathers look around and sce no faces where cight used Frount See a Srectacte Noah and the Shipping Board I IX the office of the chairman of the shipping board in Washington there recently appeared an illuminated wall-motto reading “Noah was 600 years old before he knew how to build an ark. Don’t lose your grip.” This is a rather dangerous motto to flaunt before the eyes of such an organization as the ship- ping board; for it might conceivably cause the members to understand that Noah worked for 600 years on the problem of ark- building before solving it—and that it wasn’t such a bad record. It would seem that the chair- man of the ship- ping board could inject a better spirit into his G workers by chang- ing his motto to read “Though Noah was 600 years old when | he heard about \ the Flood, he | built the ark with seven days to spare. Don’t be beaten by a 600- year-old.” Drawn by R. B. Furter Little Girl—Mister, when ye go up will ye please git Oliver his balloon? “E Wit Pawn My Warten axp Hat to up heaps of German bones. They'll plow up bones, by tons and tons; but not the bones of Wilhelm’s sons. The Kaiser has six beefy sons; they drink their beer and carry bun: they wear new glad rags every day and medals have—to give away. They never go where men are shot; they loaf in some secluded spot, and tell how happy they will be when kultur covers land and sea. They have their three square meals a day, while peasants, like the cows, cat hay. I’m not vindictive in the least. I wish no ill to man or beast. But when this war has reached its close, and we have canned the Teuton foes, if some big showman comes along, some newer Barnum, brave and strong, announcing, on the handbill’s page, six Hohenzollerns in a cage, oh, I will pawn my watch and hat to see a spectacle like that! Like Twat” Subtracting Machines DURING the past few years there has been an enormous development in the use of adding machines that add and multiply. Since the war, however, there has arisen a crying need for machines that subtract and divide. Con- servation and curtailment come in the subtraction class. Let the mechanicians come forth promptly and meet this very pressing need. Safe for Once “So you were in the armored tank, Ferdy? And what did you think at the time?” “Thought it would be a good time to ask your father for his consent to our mar ~ Isaw him standing outside.” Easily Complied With He—The govern- ment orders that the lights must be great- ly reduced at all bridges. She—Oh, well, I generally hold mine It got away! _in the daytime. comicbooks.com