Judge, 1918-07-20 · page 21 of 32
Judge — July 20, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains short humorous anecdotes organized under three headings: "Babies," "Peace," and "Clothes." The **Babies** section offers domestic humor about new fatherhood and child-rearing, including a baseball pitcher's joke about lacking control (a pun on parenting vs. pitching). The **Peace** section satirizes pacifist movements and the Bolsheviki (Russian communists), likely referencing WWI-era anti-war sentiment. One joke references the Venus de Milo—a symbol of peace without arms—while another mocks pacifists through physical violence, questioning their sincerity. The **Clothes** section uses fashion as a lens for observing human behavior and social pretension. Most notably, "A Faithful Customer" is a **WWI reference**: a Parisian barber "stepped out to attend the mobilization" in August 1914 (France's military conscription upon war's outbreak) and hasn't returned—implying he died in combat or remains conscripted. The customer still waits, making a dark joke about war's permanence. The page reflects American satirical attitudes toward contemporary issues: parenthood, wartime, and social conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BABIES The Twirler’s Luck. “It’s lucky for me I’m not in the box,” said the great baseball pitcher, as he paraded up and down the room with his tooth-cutting son and heir. “Why?” asked his wife, sleepily. “Because,” he answered, “1 ¢ seem to have any control of the baw.” Boston Transcript Erudite Deductions.—* Well, now that yout have been the father of a fine for two months, have you found map out his future career?” replied young Professor Glid dings. “The boy’s tastes and desires are so elementary that I haven't been able to reach any conclusion regarding his mental potentialities, but as a biological specimen I don’t: mind saying that he fills my heart with joy.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. Professional Humorist’s Wife—Pat the baby, my dear—or sing to him while you're walking him to sleep. You seem $0 preoccupied P. H—I1 am. I'm trying to make a joke about light infantry and forced marches. —Club Fellow. PEACE Just the Lady—*So your league is getting everything ready for the time when peace and disarmament shall come. No doubt you have selected some sym- bolical figure to represent the new com- bination of disarmed nations.” “Yes, the Venus de Milo.”—Bosten Transcript. Narrow Escape—* You seem pleased with yourself. “T have a right to be. cured a pacifist.” “Good! How did you do it?” “I kicked him on the shins, and, by Jove, he nearly thrashed me before I could convince him that I was merely trying to prove his theories unsound.”— Birmingham Age-Herald. I just_now Just the Same—A senator was talk- ing about the Russian Bolsheviki. “The Bolshi i,” he said, em to think peace peace, no matter how shameful its conditions. “The Bolsheviki remind me of little Willie. Harassed Shopman (to dear old gentleman)—Now, then—what’s for y please! What de ou want unciati “*Tam ashamed of you, sir,’ said little Willic’s dad, sternly. ‘At the very bot- tom of your class!) What do you mean by it?? Well, you see, father,’ said little Willie mildly, ‘it don’t make no difference whether IT am at the bottom or top They teach the same at both ends. Washington Star. A Faithful Customer Un client fidéle Going to the tonsorial parlor on August 2, 1914, he saw a notice that the barber had stepped out to attend the mobilization. He's still waiting for him to return.—Le Péle- Méle (Paris). , thank you -h-hard or a s-s-soft Hurry up, don’t require anythin’ you t-t-tell CLOTHES - The Coat Makes the Man—‘It is odd how one’s clothes react on one’s mentalit he observed one evening. “Now, when I’m wearing a business suit I’m all business; when I'm in evening dress social matters occupy my attention; and when I'm in golf togs I don’t think thing but the game.” “Yes?” queried his listener. “And I suppose when you take a bath your mind is an utter blank.—Harper’s Magazine. Upholstered—When she’s ragged up in the latest style, And looks in the glass to see, We'd not be surprised if she said with shion has nothing on me!” —Town Topics. The Silhouette—* When Father saw my latest outfit as I came down for break: fast this morning,” said Felicia, “he looked at me rather sharply and snapped, ‘Young lady, you just about forgot to put on a skirt today.’ "—Detroit News. McAdoo, Please Note—There is a farmer in Waller County, Tex., who has a pair of pantaloons with thirty-two “separate” patches on them. How they can be otherwise than confluent we can- not comprehend, but we wish Mr. Mc- Adoo to not that this man has gone over the top.—St. Louis Globe-Democrat. comicbooks.com