Judge — July 6, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Friendly Call By Morris Wave " S, it’s me, Sister Ellsby,” said the tall, gaunt, resolute look- Vis lady of somewhat advanced years when making her first call at the parsonage in which the new minister had been established but two weeks. “I reckon you do have some trouble in remembering so many new faces. The wife of our last paster was great at remembering both names and_ faces. She never forgot a person once she had seen ‘em. She had lots of good traits that are going to make us miss her alot. Thanks. I will come in and set down. I ain't but a few minutes to stay but I thought—my'! look at that dab of dirt on the new wallpaper in this hall! Seems like our Ladies’ Aid hardly gets the parsonage fixed up until it needs new paint or paper. I ain’t had a foot o° new paper in my house in ten years. Stale bread crumbs might take that spot off if it ain’t grease, and I don’t see why there should be grease spots in a front hall. You well?” Quite well, thank you, Sister Ellsby.” “T didn’t see you out at the missionary meeting las’ night and I took it you must be sick or you'd of been there. If the paster’s wife don’t take an int’rest in missions I don’t see how she can expect the other wimmen of the church to. It would save this carpet a good deal if you laid strips of old carpet around. Our Ladies’ Aid had to get the money to lay the carpets here in the parsonage. It ain't many ministers gets parsonages with carpets all laid in three o’ the rooms. I see you got these here portyairs over the door between the parlor here and the setting- room. Huh! I never could see the sense o’ hangin’ curtains over as we did her we would of kep’ him. Is your husband a real well man?” “Oh, quite well, Sister Ellsby “T don’t like the looks o’ them dark circles under his eyes and Tue Last Draucut Yankee Machine Gunner (who has lost his way but anxious to make the most of a trying situation’—Pardon me, but is this the way to Berlin? it seems to me he’s some holler-chested. Does he drink coffee ev'ry morning? He does? That prob'ly helps to explain it. There’s so many good substitutes for coffee I think he better stop coffee and try some of them. You tell him to try Grain-O. With nice rich cream it’s about as good as coffee. You take only a doorways. Looks as if there was something to hide. Our last Quartof milk aday? Well, none of us has just what we want. You paster’s wife didn’t have a portyair in the whole parsonage. She ought to put a carpet on them front stairs. We've just had ’em was a mighty nice sensible woman. If we'd liked him much painted. Look at that rent in that window shade! And the shades in this room all new not three years ago! I don’t think that rent was there when the last paster’s fam’ly moved out. The grass in the front yard looks as if you’d allowed your chil- dren to tromp it down a good deal. We had fresh seed sowed in it last spring and it won't grow if it is tromped down. Seems to me that picture you've got hung above the mantel would look better between the two front windows. Ain't your youngest child awfully pullin’. You don’t let him eat candy, do you? Our last paster’s wife allowed her children to eat so much candy we had to speak to her about it. She was known to buy a whole pound at one time and .to pay nineteen cents for it. And him asking for a raise in his sal’ry. And she used nearly three pounds o’ butter a week and only five in the fam’ly. It doesn’t look well for a paster’s fam'ly to set an example in high living. Well, I guess I'll run along. _I just run in for a little friendly call and— phew! What's that nice smell? It’s just a spice cake you are baking? Purty expensive kind of cake ain’t it? If my husband had only six hundred a year it’s mighty few spice cakes I would make. Well, I got to run along. Any time you'd like to ask me anything feel free to do so._I been here twenty-five years and our paster's wives know that I'm always ready to advise. If you'd keep the shades drawn closer it’d save the carpet from fading. I must run along. Good-bye.” An Unpromising Outlook DON’T presizely know how to get shet of my brother-in-law, who came with his family about two months ago to make us a nice long visit,” confessed the gaunt Missourian. ‘He has the asthmy too bad to work but not bad enough to keep him from differing with me on politics, religion, weather signs, the way to end the war, and most everything else that I happen to mention. His wife has queer spells and distinguished ancestors and a very superior manner. All their five children except the third one, counting from either end, have musical or elocutionary or movie talent, or something equally as repulsive. The exception that I have indicated has nothing the matter with him except that he steals everything he can lay his hands on. “You see, wife and me, we have lived so long in the old home at we are sorter attached to it, and kinda hate to burn the house down, except as a last resort.” Bur My Wh batt Butt t There I We're h k Ant al Thear al te But lo w th Twent be A sold Bi By Jons 2 Voic wash t were tl comicbooks.com