Judge — June 22, 1918 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ne d- XUM June 22, 1918 Planning a Vacation By A. Wacter Urtixc BOUT this time of the year, every A year, (remarked my old friend Aloy- sius McFee), the missis sets my mind at work planning for my vacation. Although it is true, of course, that at many other times of the year, when I listen to her, I wish for a vacation. But it is especially at this time that she begins to tell me of the beauties of the earth, and how travel broadens one. This year, however, I’ve got to have a vacation different in every way from these I have had. I’ve been trying to be a patriot—and a vacation is a luxury which must be given up so that Liberty Bonds and thrift stamps may not. My mind is reconciled to that. But somehow habit insists upon a rigid ad- herence to custom. So my pockets are filled with literature. A philosopher—Eve, maybe—once said that pleasure is all in the anticipation, anyhow—and it doesn’t cost anything to anticipate. So my vacation this summer is to be spent in anticipation. And my travels will take the form of a correspondence course. Besides, such a procedure has a great many merits. By remaining at home and looking at schedules and leaflets and booklets and circulars we can see better views than from a train window. For always—haven’t you noticed it?— when you come to a choice bit of scenery there’s a freight or cattle train standing between you and what your heart and eyes yearn to see. Another thing, you can have your meals on time, if the missis stays at home with you. And you can save a lot of money— which you haven’t got to save, because, in helping to win the war, you have invested every penny you could scrape together. And I think a man can forego one year’s vacation, any way, if he will stop and consider that his and his neighbors’ boys won’t get a vacation until peace comes. Then, too, think of the other things be- sides money a man can save by reading vacation literature and wishing he were away 3 Indigestion, Dust, Tips, Annoyance, Crowds, Temper, Breath, Cinders. Of course, it is bad form to save cinders. But a man is driven to any end since the cost of coal is so high. If one must run to catch trains, let him live in the suburbs, as I do. That part of his vacation will be continuous. If one wants the excitement of Niagara Falls let him forget the water pan under the icebox—as I often do. If one wants the excitement of Europe, let him enlist. There are many substitutes for many things. The correspondence course is to be my substitute for a vacation. And I’m taking a deal of joy in its anticipation —that is, in the anticipation of the anticipation. Seashore Smiles By Au Wu HE seashore is a spot of sand monopo- lized by the tide and the untied. It doesn’t take a long love suit to be as long as a bathing suit. The moonlight is silver, and silence is golden—but you can’t pay your hotel bill with either. Many a chap who, with a girl, has sought and found a high, dry spot, soon enough finds himself in deep water. A man may leave business behind him, and yet find an engagement ring to his seashore words. Not at a store, but at the shore, is to be found something nice in bathing suits. A man overcomes bashfulness naturally because of the abundance of sand at the shore. Sonte girls sit on the sand because they seek a complexion; others, to save theirs. Even the pacifist maid believes in recourse to arms at the seashore. Many a bathing suit is shrinking, whose owner is not. Some go to the seaside to see; some have sighed. That’s why it is the see- sighed (she sighed). Ballade to the Customary Prince By Corporat Lyon Mearson ‘OU talk of your palaces, marble and gold, Your vast country places, your princely estate, Your wide reaching meadows, your feudal freehold, Your sky piercing towers and old family plate; But I know a cottage—built for téte-d-téte— In deep-bowered woodland where nature is free, A rosy-cheeked, gingham clad girl's at the gate Of my ivy-bound cottage in Arcady. Perhaps there is one who waits inside the wold Of the many-roomed castle, a heart consecrate, Perhaps there's a love affair inside the mold Of royal tradition—but she does not wait Outside in the gloaming what time you are late; So vaunt, if you like, your chateau on the lea, But as for myself, there’s a love and a mate In my ivy-bound cottage in Arcady. Tenvy not riches, by gilt I’m not sold, Its turrets and towers may hold love distrait, A golden-haired wife midst the spring marigold Of a low-roofed white cottage holds my happy fate; For love in a mansion may well suffocate If fed upon marble and old pedigree, So maugre your riches, permit me to prate Of my ivy-bound cottage in Arcady. Envoi And so, my dear Prince, if you would abdicate And leave all your castles and income to me, Think you I would change?—I would sure emigrate From my ivy-bound cottage in Arcady. B. Altman & Cn. Men’s Straw Hats IN THE NEW SHAPES AND BRAIDS The finest products of the foremost manu- facturers, here and abroad, are assembled in this interesting col- lection, which includes every smart type of Summer hat for the fastidious man. Among the more pop- ular styles are Sennit Straws, at $3.00, 3.50 & 4.00 Higher-cost Hats, such as_ Balibuntals and Panamas, are shown in comprehen- sive assortments. (First Floor) Madison Abenue: Fitth Abenue 34th and 35th Streets Mew Bork This clever pic- ture, in full colors, IIx14, mounted on a heavy mat, ready for the frame, sent pre- paid for twenty- five cents. Judge Art Print Department 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City