Judge — June 22, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tent ad Deék Wheezes Military and Naval Jupce ays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted for publication, and each week $5 is awarded for the best original joke received War Bread By L. Mixon Coxxouty, Co. A. 103d Ammunition Train, Camp Haneork, Augusta, Ga. I GOT a pass some time ago to spend the night in town, Secured a ticket for the show and straightway journeyed down, But having missed the evening meal, I prophesied a treat, In finding out how it would feel to get a “bite to eat” That n't cooked in Army style or served in rations scant. The thought of biscuits made me smile. restaurant. The waiter placed a cup and spoon, a glass, a fork _and knife plate and very soon produced “the staff T charged a Drawn by Doc Ranxtx, San. Dept., 23d Infantry vy femmy—Con rats, old top! See you have C. (Victoria Eros) after your name. When Ya you get it? Sammy—V.C! _O-oh, I’m only a horseshoer in the Veterinary Corps. It was a noble’ russet hunk built on the “Hoover” plan, Assembled from the piles of junk, or else the garbage can, All blended with some chestnut skins and granulated beans, The sweepings from the horse feed bins with sun- cured turnip greens; From sawdust down to cotton seeds, from barley husks to bran, Potato vines and jimson-weeds, went in the baking pan. If | have to stiafe the Germans and subsist on “ Hoo- ver bread,” I agree with General Sherman—and you know what Sherman said! Oh, the head cook may be thrifty; though it bears the U, S. stamp Take away your “so-so”! I can beat that at the Camp! A Calamity » Ke What it is to’ mis-judge. This Week’s $5 Prize Winner. Couldn’t Fool Him By Private Haroww Hamstreer, U.S. Marine Corps ie Officer of the Day was out one night re~ cently inspecting sentries in the Mare Island Navy Yard, and came to a chap he suspected of being @ half-witted “boot.” He thought he would hare some fun with the lad. “Sentry,” he said, “suppose a man should walk along this post carrying a three-inch field piece on his shoulder. What would you do?” Now it must be known that a three-inch field piece only weighs about to thousand pounds without the carriage. The sentry seemed in no way startled at the ques- tion, With unruffied calmness ke quizzically looked at the officer and replied: “Sir, I would search him to see if he was carrying the marine barracks in his pocket. What the Draft Brought In Drawn by Harry R. Hicx, Provisional Co. 5, Ariation Section, Signal Corps, Madison Barracks, ‘The way a young rookie thinks he looks ‘when the boys yell: “ Lookit the ears on ‘im.” A Busy Man By Pvt. Joux D. McGaeever, Co. C., 106th Infantry It happened at Van Cortlandt Park. The two fair girls had been shown over the camp. They thought everything was ‘‘just too cute for any- thing.” We saw them to the train, and as we stood talking I looked at my watch and saw that we didn’t have very much time to spare. “We'll have to go,” I said. “Every night when taps blows, the Corporal checks up the absentees in cach tent.” “Does the Corporal check you up?” asked one of the girls. “Yes,” I answered, “the Corporal in charge of quarters.” “Oh! By the way,” said the other girl, brightly, “who is Corporal of the Twenty-third now?” The Big Job Drawn by C. J. Dow, U. S.N. Camouflaging the “Gun Boats.” Physically, Not Mentally, Fit By Hanay McCownent, Bakery Co. 311, Camp Sheriden, Ala, The Captain had the company of recruits lined up for their first drill. Captain—inspection! Arms! One big recruit put his rifle between his knees, rolled up his sleeves, held out his arms and asked: “‘ How does them look, Captain?” Force of Habit By Beaxano A. Benoaax, Battalion Sergeant Major, 37th Dirision, . Camp Sheridan, Ala. ve “Keep your eyes off the ground!” yelled the captain for the third time to No. 4 in the rear rank. “I’m not going to tell you again!” “T can’t help it, Captain,” the recruit remon- strated feebly, ‘(I used to be a shoe salesman.” Independence By Parvate Ror W. Bacny, 3d Ree. Co., Fort McDowell, Calif The raw recruit who passed by his C. O. with- out so much as noticing him was stopped. C. O.—Here! Haven't you learned to salute your superior officers? Rookie—I don’t have to salute you—you’re not my squad leader! would night If v do ca¢ much Iti band overlo Ar kiss n her. Two You ¢ them. Ag especis The wickec pursue Am he is n An | almost If y called ion. Nor to like The stand Man light of _ Ther tiuses a Aricl garden Ther: writer ¢ This People. In fai What