Judge, 1918-06-08 · page 9 of 36
Judge — June 8, 1918 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"A Protest"** by Ivy Kellerman Reed mocks outdated Romantic poetry. The poem ridicules male poets who continuously write about women's bonnets—a fashion accessory "passé since Grandma's bygone day"—rather than updating their verse to contemporary subjects like sports hats or panama hats. The satire targets poets' lazy reliance on tired, conventional imagery and rhymes rather than engaging modern themes. **"They're All Alike"** satirizes nouveau-riche attitudes. When an oil strike makes John Adams suddenly wealthy, he urges his wife Maggie to buy fashionable clothes. She refuses, saying she'll wear what "all the other women are wearing"—suggesting that even newfound wealth doesn't change working-class conformity or taste. The joke is that social mobility doesn't guarantee social refinement. The accompanying illustration by Margaret H. Morrison (captioned "Those Long Distance Shells") appears unrelated, depicting a Scottish soldier and a classical statue, likely referencing WWI's distance from home.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Protest by Ivy Ketrersan Reeo HE poct sings of sonnets | To divers maidens’ bonnets,— And it goes! It's suc He works it overtime, Goodness knows! an easy rhyme, That headgear’s been passé Since Grandma’s bygone day, (What a shame!) But the poet isn’t on, So his heroines still don It just the same! If he'd strugele up to date, And poetically prate Of a toque, Would he make us ver And the stanzas thus inspired Be a joke? tired, I If he warbled of a sport hat, Would it bring him up so short that We would laugh? Could no panama delight him? Would a bathing cap affright him? The poor call! Must that antiquated lid,— The bonnet,—still be hid In his verse? Like the same old shrinking violet, Rear its head in every triolet, Or worse? They're All Alike HE oleaginous fortune that gushes sometimes from the earth in parts of Oklahoma and other States had spouted from the derrick in the back yard of old John Adams, who had hitherto provided a sometimes meager living for himself and wife by doing odd jobs about town. The old couple surveyed their potential wealth. John turned and cast a disapproving eye over his partner’s attire. “ Now, Mag- gie,” he said, ‘‘at last you can get you some decent clothes.” “T'll do nothing of the sort, John,” was the reply. “I'll get some of the kind all tie other women are wear- Fitness of Things He—Newrich has hired a geologist to look up his pedigree. She—A genealogist, foolish! A geolo- gist’s work is nothing but rocks. He—Neither is Newrich’s pedigree. plained the red-haired infant. “And never a word is said,” Drawn by Marcaret H. Morrison Could Babies Talk “T get awfully tired of this ‘better babies’ chatter,” com- “T can’t rent this apartment to you, if you have any eeved one, who had just been spanked, “about ‘better mothers. Tuose Lone Distance Suetts “Ah, me puir lassie, an’ th’ Red Cross didna’ get to ye!” Could Sublet It To Papa children.” the brown-haired “All right; rent it to the children; they haven't oe any.” comicbooks.com