ComicBooks.com Register / Loginit's free!

Judge, 1918-05-18 · page 29 of 36

Judge — May 18, 1918 — page 29: what you’re looking at

📖 Open the full issue in the page-flip reader →
Judge — May 18, 1918 — page 29: Judge, 1918-05-18

What you’re looking at

This page contains a satirical column by Douglas Malloch titled "The Notion Counter"—a collection of cynical observations about human nature disguised as homespun wisdom. Published during World War I, several aphorisms reference contemporary concerns: one critiques German militarism ("Germany thinks of a lot of things before anybody else because they are things no civilized man would think of"), while another mocks delay and procrastination as obstacles to action, possibly alluding to wartime mobilization anxieties. The humor relies on paradox and ironic reversal—praising restraint over bombast, steady effort over grand plans. The column occupies the left side; the right features a large W.L. Douglas shoe advertisement. The juxtaposition is typical of Judge's format: serious social commentary paired with commercial messaging.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

|UDGE OX, a roll of elp to Songs War >ublic, ting. | Saves | r girl, | it au. § rdam. usical f Keys then id M Il reg May 18, 1918 The Notion Counter By Dovetas Mattocu HE fact that the train is late seldom l bothers the fellow who is down to see it come in. When the young lawyer wants to talk about his cases I hope he meets a young doctor. It isn’t the plan that fails as often as the man. Follow a skinny horse and you will come to a red nose. All that I don’t like about traveling is traveling. It isn’t always the big hand that wins, but the steady one. Germany thinks of a lot of things before anybody else because they are things no civilized man would think of. The great trouble in life is that, when somebody leaves the gate open, it is gen- erally somebody else’s garden and some- body else’s cow. The orator who is always praising the nerve and sinew of the people has never gone up against some people’s nerve. If you have ever tried writing a letter on a train you know how happy a wife ought to be when she gets a letter her husband has tried to write. Talking about speed, it takes some men and a mule a long time to pass each other. The honeymoon has reached a pretty thin crescent when she pecks you goodbye on the cheek instead of kissing you good- bye on the mouth. There are more people to tell you how to doa thing than there are to help you do it. Sin wouldn’t be so popular if it weren’t so interesting. There never was a wise guy who could make as much of an impression on others as he has on himself. Some fellows are always telling you what they are going to do, but it takes them a long while to get into action after they declare war. The less words you say the more truth you will tell. It requires a patient man to back a mule or change a woman's opinion. Saying this is a sad world won’t do much to gladden it. HOTEL SEVILLE Fifth Ave. and 29th St., New York City Convenient to all best shops. Ideal for out-of-town visitors. Single Rooms with Detached Bath, $2.00 per day. Single Rooms with Private Bath, $2.50 per day upward. Rooms, with Bath, for Two, $3 to $5 per day. Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, $5 to $10 per day. Send for diagram showing fixed rooms prices JOHN F. GARRETY, Mgr. W. L. Douglas learned how to design, draft and fit shoes, also gained valuable retail shoe store experience in Golden City, Colorado. Copyright,W.L Douglas Shoe Ca. retail bottom of every pair of before they leave the factory. | The value is guaranteed and the wearer protected against high prices for inferior shoes. You can save mone! ing W. L. Douglas shoes. The best known shoes in the world. ¢ quality of W. L. Douglas product is guaranteed by more than 40 yearsex- A perience in making fine shoes. The smart / styles are the leaders in the fashion centres\ Saaral hapa pectin Maat jury factory at Brockton, Miass., by the id, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and | supervision of experienced men, all working with an honest deter- minationtomake the best shoes for the price that money can buy. Tre retail prices are the same everywhere. mere in San Francisco than they do in New York. They | the highest and the retail price aide top facing. Th high prices for Sold by over 9000 shoe L.DOUGLAS. “THE SHOE THAT HOLDS ITS SHAPE" $3 $3: 50$4. $4.50 $5 $6 $7 & .8 Ww. L. Douglas name and the <#ffll price is stamped on the shoesg, by wear- They are made in a well- They cost no rth the price paid for them. ION — Before you buy be sure W.L. Douglas name amped on the bottom and the in- is ia your ony protection apsinet ‘W.L.Douglasst. for booklet, showing! Vb Sorgla ¥ 3a5 Spark ste Laugh and the world laughs with you, growl and the world laughs at you. Few things are as good or as bad as we thought they would be. The Circumnavigators Club has sent me a map of the world. It seems to be quite a large place. A growing concern concern. All the world shoves a loafer. The course of true love never does run smooth, but at least it runs its course. As a public man’s reputation grows he realizes how small it is. When a man says he will give your is a growing proposition consideration, hunt up a new prospect. Already Trained The maid—Jamesy, old top, the boss is think- ing seriously of letting you men guys out, so you can do your bit for Uncle Sam. The Butler—'Eavens! What could Hi do in the service? The maid—Just think of the swell listening- post you’d make! Bad Brake First politician—Why don’t we ever nomi- nate a dark horse nowadays? Second politican—Oh, our modern direct primaries run more to self starters. To the Point “Ts his love affair coming to a head?” “It’s gone there already—he’s plumb crazy!”