Judge — May 11, 1918 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

May 11, 1918 I With the Gllege Wits Trrepressible, Joyous R. P. Blesh “Sergeant Binks is recovering from a severe fall.” What did he do? Got onto one of those rotten branches of the service? ”"—Jack o' Lantern, Velvet # AVE you scen any of those magazines H with one-cent stamps already on them so you can send them to soldiers?” “Yeah; I had a dickens of a time getting the stamp off of one the other night.”—Penn State Froth. Of Course Drawing Teacher—What? Forgotten your pencil again? What would you think of a sol- dier without his gun? Frosh—I'd think he was an officer.—Burr. Just Then Just as the stars began to peep, Just as the daylight went to sleep, Just as the shades commenced to creep— I kissed her! Just as the flowers ceased to bloom, Just as the night put on its gloom, Just as her husband left the room— I kissed her! —Tiger. Interpreted Guest—Noodle soup, veal with tomato sauce, and a cream puff. Waiter (who has been at the front)—Bowl of submarines, camouflage the calf, hurl me a custard grenade.— Panther. Probably Proph—Why do they call this arm bone the humeru Soph—Probably, because it’s next to the funny bone.—Punch Bowl. trespousible Oh, Never Mind! St. Francis Desk Man—Before you leave Vl have the porter inspect your room. Stude—Oh, never mind; I don’t think I left anything in it Desk Man—Yes; that’s what I’m afraid of. — Chaparral. What He Meant “Whadda ya mean, camouflage?” “They're makin’ the bottoms of the cups rough so you think you have sugar!”—Record. A Confession When you've bats in your belfry that flut, When your “comprencz-vous” rope is cut, When there’s nobody home In the top of your dome— Then your head’s not a head; it’s a nut. —Awgwan. “Yaah! But you ought to sce the Dachshund.” ) Buckskin Quali IV TIRES Prices Lowest in America 4000 Miles Guaranteed Sent on Approval E price of BUCKSKINS is low, but the vality as high as any tire: made—and UCKSKINS wear as long. Some thrifty f 7.0 RUBBER |) Our Attractive Basket Weave Non-Skid Tread Express Prepaid if desired. The L. & M. Rubber Co. Cross Street, Carroliten, Ohio 13 of Rubber Goods Since 1904 |, Yourown Regiment ‘and Company Included: Special Prices om orders of six or more. ATALOG FREE C. K. GROUSE CO., Manufact; 121 Bruce Ave. t All draggtsts: Boap 3, Ointment 3 250, Talcum 2. Sample each free of “Cutieura, Dept B, Boston.” His Motto Said the ardent lover, as he successfully terminated a rigorous campaign: “To the victors belong the goil: Medley. “Sea Breeze”? With the hot sun beating down on their | frail underfed bodies—with no hape of re- lief in sight—the little children and tired mothers of the slums are facing another grim summer in their empty lives. | Help Us Give These Unfortunates a Chance for Health Sea Breeze the Association’s fresh air home gives the one chance for rest, nourishment and care for many of these families each year— but help is needed at once if we are to provide for the long waiting list. Will you give—just a little? The New York Association for Improving the Condition of the Poor Room 250 105 East 22d Street Allow 60 cents a day or $4.00 a week for each one whom you will send as your guest. fo give fresh air relief fro the most needy cases. New York