Judge — April 27, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tout and Deck Wheezes Military and Naval The Joys of Quarantine By Private L. Minor Conall. Co, Ay 103d Ammunition it just outside ill tomorrow” is each day’s program.) Now, blessed be the man, I say, who first invented isolation! We're quarantined a mile away outside the army reservation. We're never called upon to drill, and takeno part in mounting guard. We're not to leave the tent, but still we're satisfied in our own yard. Our meals are here be- forewe rise; it seems like Sunday all the week. We care not for the cloudy skies, be- cause, you see, our tent don’t le Suppose it does rain; we should weep, for we don’t have to go outside. A rainy day was made forsleep;wecrawl in bed and let it slide. The only cause we have for woe, the only thing that causes pain Is knowing that we'll have to go and take our place in camp again. Time flies, it’s true (excuse these tears), in spite of our utmost endeavor. We'd like to stay a hundred years, but this cannot go on forever. Three weeks is what the doctor said; we must content ourselves with this. We'll stay the whole time in the bed; that’s twenty days of solid bliss. Accurate Bearing By Chi) Yeoman George Sahliny Noval Intelligence Servier, Passaic, ilor Rookie (on watch in lookout tower, calling down to the Officer of the day)—Sail o’ho, sir! Old Salty Captain—Where away? Sailor Rookie—Oh, far away, sir! How Did It Taste? By Joseph Pronin, Co. F, 3024 Engineers ONE morning the coffee was feeling stronger than usual—full of grit, don’t you know. He bawled: “Hey, Mess Sergeant, ’s this coffee? Looks more like mud to me!” “Well,” answered the M. S., “ ground this morning.” it was An Embarrassing Moment Bill has volunteered to teach Col. Crabb the art of self-defense She Understood All Right? By BM. L. Anderson, and Class Machinist Mate, Algiers Neral Station, New Orleans, La JOE was the average boy from a small town at the naval station. When Joe went home for a very short furlough, he paid a visit to his dear old-fashioned grand- This Week's Lucky Man—His Bit Private John D. McGreevey, Co. C, 106th Infantry "THE story is being told about camp at the expense of a cwell-knowon General, that on the occasion of a recent visit 10 his daughter who is attending boarding school, the young lady's chum was visibly impressed and after ke had gone she asked, « “How old is your father?” said the girl chum. didn’t know they could drafta man as old as that!” mother. As the time was very short, he said, “ No, Grandmother, I can’t sit down, I'll just tell you all about me standing up.” His grandmother looked him over from head to foot, and then said, “All right, Joey, I understand,” in a very sym- pathetic tone. The next week, when back at the station, he received a ‘comfort kit” from the old lady, and tucked intoa corner of it was a roll of blue elastic, with this note “Dear Joey—Sew this elastic in the seams of your trousers, so that youcan sit down comfort- ably,andthentheywon’t feel so tight on the top, as I saw they were. Your Lovixc Granpaa.” Quite a Chronometer By Robert E. Lee, 13th Co. th Battalion, Camp Lee Colored soldier —Ser- geant,what time yo’ got? Sergeant—Why, Felix, it is eleven-thirty—al- most time for dinner. ergeant, your watch am fast. I’s got eleven- twenty.” “Felix, that watch of yours is no good any- way. What kind is it?” “This watch am bet- ter’n yourn. It’s got a garntee.” “What kind of a guarantee?” “The garntec on this sez: ‘If shook well before looking, it will always be found running.’” Otherwise Afflicted By Bruce Cole, Army VM. C. A. 94, Camp Dodge, jowa HEN soldiers are sent to the base hospital for treatment, they are taken first to the receiving ward, where they turn in their clothing and valuables and receive pajamas and a bathrobe for hospital wear. A negro soldier was brought in, and while a record was being made of his cloth- ing and personal effects, an orderly asked him if he had pajamas. The darky grinned painfully, and said: “No, sah, it’s mumps!” comicbooks.com