Judge, 1918-04-20 · page 27 of 36
Judge — April 20, 1918 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines editorial commentary on WWI-era problems with shoe advertising. ## "Prose and Cons" Column The main satirical piece critiques U.S. War Department casualty reporting. When the Army announced "John Collins is dead in France," it triggered panic across multiple cities—the OCR text shows there were 396 John Collinses across major American cities. The columnist argues this practice is both cruel (leaving families in prolonged anguish) and stupid (potentially revealing regiment information to Germans, per department claims). He contrasts this unfavorably with British casualty procedures during "nearly four years" of their war experience, suggesting America is bungling basic military administration. The satire targets American military inefficiency and disregard for soldiers' families during WWI. ## Supporting Quotes A Senator Poindexter quote mocking German military prowess is undercut by the preceding example of American stupidity—the implicit joke being that America hardly has room to boast. The remainder is W.L. Douglas shoe advertising.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Prose and Cons By P.M. ee Serene mean NEAR-SIGHTED stork who saw a sign “Boy Wanted” on our druggist’s store window left a girl at his house by mis- take.—Brooklyn Eagle. In making a spectacle of himself the stork could hardly be expected to sce his error with the keen vision of the Eagle. * * * The American War Department gave out its casualty list the other day with such names ‘as Smith, Sweeney, and Collins as men who had died. John Collins was picked as an example, and a half dozen cities were wired to see how many John Collinses there might be. The fol- lowing table shows how useless it is to report that “John Collins is dead in Franc There might be a half hundred “John Collinses” in the service. One of them is dead, and the families of the rest are torn with grief in the belief that the dead man is their son. “JOUN COLLINS IS DEAD.” Number of John —_ Population City Collinses (estimated) Detroit 32 800,000 Cleveland 18 700,000 j New York 142 Cincinnati 18 | Philadelphia 83 Chicago 103 Total 396 11,450,000 Population of United States, 100,000,000. Probable number of John Collinses, Detroit News. Because, it is averred by the War De- partment, the publication of a dead | soldier’s home town in conjunction with i his name may enable the Germans to figure out the man’s regiment, its numer- ical strength and its location at the front. thus problematically “giving aid and comfort to the enemy,” several thousand families must be left to writhe in an agony + of prolonged suspense over the fate of | their particular “John Collins.” Isn't it possible for us to order these things with some of the plain common sense exercised by the British military authorities during { nearly four years of casualty lists publi- cation? Must we go on meriting the si- lent contempt of our Allies who in their heart of hearts are beginning to believ that the word Aimerican spells stupidity * 2 Germans is largely mythical.”—Senator Poin- | dexter, on the floor of the Senate, February 20th. Spoofing oneself and underestimating the power of an enemy have cost kings and senators their jobs before now. | * | “Even the boasted military prowess of the turn it SEND No “Mone! us $! If you don’t like it NORE COMPANY, 495 More Bullding, St. Louls, Mo. “THE SHOE THAT HOLDS ITS SHAPE” $3 $3.50$4 $4.50 $5 $6574 $8 W. L. Douglas name and the retail price is stamped on_ the, 2 tae, bottom of every pair of shoes¢ before they leave the factory. | The value is guaranteed and the wearer protected against high prices for inferior shoes. You can save mone: ing W. L. best known shoes in the world by wear- Douglas shoes. The fared { “snoe Tre quality of W. L. Douglas product is guaran! teed by more than 40 years ex- perience in making fine shoes. The smart styles are the leaders in the fashion centres l of America. They are made in a well- ~ equipped factory at Brockton, Mass., by the highest supervision minationtomake the best shoes for the price that money can buy. id, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and experienced men, all working withanhonest deter- e retail prices are the same everywhere. They cost no more in San Francisco than they do in New York. They are always worth the price paid for them. ETION— Before you buy be sure W, and the retail price side top facing. high prices for inferior Sold by over 9000 shoe ienttocallat W.L_Douglasstore,ask make. Write for booklet, showing Getting up early ing the cows ure were tasks which W.L. Dow ‘was called upon to perform while “bound out,” learning the trade of shoemaking. ‘Copyright,W.L Douglas Shoe Co. Wonder how the senator from Wash- ington defines “mythical”? Perhaps he doesn’t, since the big German drive. * * * Fishermen along the Atlantic coast from Florida north have begun taking sharks suitable for food purposes, and smoking the meat. This product is reported to be coming into the market and finding ready sale—U. S. Food Administration Bulletin. Kinda thought the fumes from the pipes of the 6:15 commuters who are so fond of boasting about their new tackle and their big hauls on Saturdays and Sundays, carried some of thé pungency of dead sharks and things. Personally, we draw the line at smoking fish meat. * * * “Notice to all Studios of the Universal Film Mfg. Co.—Beginning immediately you will Douglas name ja stamped on the bottom and the in- Tile ts your onty protection against hoes. BEWARE OF FRAUD. ‘to ordershoes by mail, please discontinué the use of the following expression: GREATEST ON EarTH—because no picture we ever made or anybody else ever made (Signed) is actually the greatest on earth.” Carl Laemmle, President. From all advertisii Manufacturing C Concern in the Universe. Carl Laemmle, Presi- dent.” Tum tiddy um tum, tweedle dum, tweedle dee. * * * “The Country club is an elaborate building occupying 160 acres.—E. IW’. Howe's Monthly. Sounds more like the Bethlehem Steel Works than a mere country club house. It’s some structure that occupies 160 acres. “Elaborate building” is much too mild a description. dealers and 105 W.L_Douglas stores. If not conven- our local dealer forthem. Takenoother