Judge — April 6, 1918 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A String of Beauties A local river, lake or bay and your Old Town Canoe will give you a world of pleas- ure. Old Towns take you where the fish- ing and camping are best. They are buoy- ant, speedy, staunch—the ideal canoe for sport. Write for catalog. OLD TOWN CANOE Co. St. Old Te d tywep—Is this the taxidermist? Voice on "Puone—Yes, ma'am. “You stuff birds, don’t you? “Yes ma’am.” “Well, what would you charge to come up here and stuff the turkey we have for dinner? I don’t know how.” Your Age, Please? _ The British Parliament has granted the right of suffrage to women over thirty. Who says the English have no sense of humor? Pertinent Suggestion Curator (to museum trustee)—Don’t you think we better get specimens of coal, sugar and milk before they become extinct? BECOME AN EXPERT CCOUNTANT Executive Accountants command big salaries. Thousands of firms need them. Only 2,000 Certified Public Accountantsin U.S. Many are ‘earning $3,000 fo $10,000a year, We train you thoroughly by mail in spare dmeior C.P-A. ‘inations of executive accourfting positions. Rhowledge of bookkeeping unnecessary to begin —we prepare you from ground up. Our course and service is under the supervision of a lange: Sta of CP. A's, including William I. Castenhols, A. MC. P_A former Comptroller and Instructor, U Chase, LL. M..C 3 ancy; and otheranembers.of America: Accountants. Low tuitlon fee—easy terms. Write now for {ree book of Accountancy facts LaSalle Extension University Dept. 482. “The World's Greatest Extension University” FREE TRIAL PIEDMONT RED CEDAR CHESTS ce | Ri ‘renies 050 ob se - et Distiarivety bUeet from Finest birthday for big Cs Pestpald frees Piedmont Red Cedar Chest Co., Dept. 30, Statesville, N.C. trom comlent. wedding tM, Write today His Faultless English By Mary Grauam Bonner SSWT’S a beautiful day,” said the dash- ing French officer to the American girl whom he had just met at a smart New York reception. “Yes,” she agreed, ‘it is a beautiful day A pause followed and then the French officer spoke once more in the same fault- less English. “Tt’s a beautiful da “Most certainly, without a doubt,” she said, “it is a beautiful day.” Another pause followed. She made some idle remarks, he smiled, nodded his head in the wrong place and answered nothing, until for the third time he said, “Mademoiselle, it is a beautiful day.” And he shrugged his shoulders and tried to gaze beyond the palms and the orches- tra and the curtains so he could catch a glimpse of the sunshine which would prove his one point. “He ts so dashing in appearance, so good to look upon, and he has won medals for bravery,” the girl thought to herself, “what a great pity he is so extremely dull.” He smiled and she said that the music was good and he nodded, just as he should have done when suddenly a new idea struck her. She had thought he could speak English because his one remark re- peated three times had been said without the trace of an accent. But perhaps he only knew one or two little speeches and had learned to pronounce those perfectly. She would try to speak French and see if he were any more of a conversationalist. “IT speak French,” she said in his own language. A radiant smile came over the officer’s face. “Ah, Mademoiselle,” he said in his own native tongue, “how happy Lam! I meet you beautiful ladies over here, you are so exquisite and charming and all I am sure of saying correctly is that the day is beautiful. I feel like a fool, and I long to say more to you beautiful ladies.” He proved to be one of the most inter- esting talkers she had met in many a day. How glad she was her hostess had intro- duced him to her and how stupid she felt that she had mistaken his one perfect English sentence for -a mastery of the language. “Never again,” she told the officer later on, “will I judge foreigners, even if they do say a few words in faultless English, until I find out if they can speak any more of the language. For think how dread- fully we would feel if the Frenchwomen thought our splendid, bright American boys and men were stupid because they had learned to say in faultless French, “Tt is a beautiful day,” or “Paris is a wonderful city!” \ Leslie-Judge Representatives WANTED In Small Towns and Country Districts E want you to help us introduce to the firesides of country homes, The Happy Medium, JUDGE, and the magazine of the happy side of the movies, FILM FUN, and America’s Only Illustrated News. paper, LESLIE'S i men (17 to 21) preferred. e ch and help you to «cure subscriptions for three and six months and a year. No Single Copy Sale. Use your spare time evenings, holidays, etc.. from $5 to $25 a week, or put in all of your t the winter and earn double this amount. Answer quickly so you can start now, Give population and description of town, township or territory you think you can cover. SUB-AGENCY DEPARTMENT LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York City The Unlamented ONE is heatless Monday, Is the joyful cry. No one wants to meet it In the by-and-by, With the “Closed” sign on it, Buyless, bargainless. Full of keen vexations, Full of nervous stress. Vanished is Blue Monday, With its pallid face. With its war-need pleading As its only grace; And the prospect's rosy. "Stead of mournful hue; So this change of color Nobody will rue. Gone is shut-up Monday, Open ’tis once more, With its aim accomplished In a greater store, We were wiilling victims To it, as a pawn In the war game pressing; But we're glad ’tis gone. —Baltimore American.