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Judge, 1918-04-06 · page 15 of 36

Judge — April 6, 1918 — page 15: what you’re looking at

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Judge — April 6, 1918 — page 15: Judge, 1918-04-06

What you’re looking at

**"The Nightmares of a Pacifist—No. 6"** is a wartime satirical cartoon mocking conscientious objectors—men who refused military service on moral grounds. The cartoon depicts "Willie Bonehead," a caricatured pacifist, having nightmares about WWI combat: he's trapped in a shell-cratered battlefield where phantom black cats (representing "Hun-bred" German enemies) drag him from hiding spots. The satire's point: pacifists deserve ridicule because their squeamishness about war makes them imagine absurd horrors. The implication is that their moral objections are cowardly and unpatriotic. **"The Notion Counter"** is an unrelated humor column by Douglas Malloch offering cynical observations about marriage, wealth, food rationing, and social hypocrisy—typical light satirical commentary for the era. The pacifist cartoon reflects WWI-era American hostility toward draft resisters, portraying them as ridiculous rather than principled.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Perniton Maxwetr Photo Composition 6 The Nightmares of a Pacifist—No. 6 HEN Willie Bonehead, the Conscientious Objector, wh conscience doesn’t alw work the way his fears dictate, suddenly found himself amid a series of too nicely proportioned shell-holes in a No Man’s Land patrolled by cunning and vicious black cats, his sleepin, self registered a yawp that was heard on the next block. ‘To Willie’s dream-possessed fancy these ebon felines, that slunk and crawled-on their: bellies and uttered never a sound, were Hun-bred ‘and whenever he attempted to hide in one of the shell-craters one of the creatures would silently drag him forth with its long, cold claws and smile knowingly into his terror- blanched face. Willie thinks war has no horrors comparable with some of his nightmares—and Willie is right. The Notion Counter: 6y Douglas Malloch in farmiliar. Women as a rule do not interest me, only the exceptions. All men are created free and equal; and then some of them get married. Don’t envy the rich man’s son and marry and have a rich man’s son. Cheer up, despondent lover; it is much better to have them turn cold before marriage. There are a lot of patrons of-the arts who recognize them only by the label. They will miss me around the office after I am gone, but they won't miss so many other things. To the innocent bystander, a pipe always seems worse than it is and a cigar better. The man who didn’t participate in either of the previous bond issues ought to realize that it is now his turn at bat. [ie fart like to meet the man who put the “r” He may grow up We are eating less food than we used tof but we would never be able to prove it by our household ex- pense book. A widow’s grief is seldom so great that she won’t powder her nose when she hears a step coming. When you love a woman who doesn’t love you, it is cause of some worry; but when conditions are reversed, ye gods! I went to a vegetarian restaurant the other night and came out bursting with food and faint with hunger. Husbands are like a pair of elastics; unless you have complete confidence in them they make you very un- happy. And remember the best way to keep them from break- ing is to allow them to stretch a lite now and then. Some folks not only count their chickens before they are hatched, but before the chickens are hatched to lay the eggs to hatch the chickens they are counting.